A watermelon?

YOU ARE A MELON HEAD, how does that even work to you, jeez.

@Cait_Sith I see him more as a cantaloupe.

@Yukayo I proudly identify as a potato, thank you.

I Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

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Fuck you potato, I unsubbed because you are black.

I thought it was because you were dead