Okay, now I am sick to my stomach for some reason. Had to use the nearby trash can to throw up. Letting out all the bad things at once.

oh no

HEY ONLY CATS CAN TALK ABOUT THEIR POOPS!

Things have gotten hardcore. There was a fly that was apparently trapped in my bathroom. It kept flying around me I was taking a shit. I kept swatting and swatting at it but it still trolled me. I managed to wack it away and it hit the ground. But it is just to far for me to hit on the toilet. Oh, it has gotten back up and is flying around again. This fly is so loud. I cannot poop with anything watching me. He decides to try and fly into the toilet and falls into the water. It is squirming but i think it is done for.

I let out a few small pees and all of the sudden i hear people at my door. I apparently forgot to lock my house door. Someone is in my home. I scratch my butt as I am hearing loud banging and some jangling of keys. They just banged something loud. As I'm writing this they have left the home. Oh no, they are trying to come into the bathroom.

They jingled the locked handle a few times. It has been a few minutes and I have heard nothing from them since. I just realized apparently there is a nest of spiders underneath my toilet. I keep finding them crawling on my legs and feet. Speaking of feet, mine have fallen asleep. I am running out of toilet paper aswell. I wish I had bought more earlier today. I had planned on getting some supplies, just incase a situation like this had happened.

My feet are tingling really bad. :ohno: apparently my sink has been dripping for a while now. I cannot get up from pooping tho, cuz then the toilet would be oddly warm and would make me more uncomfortable than usual. I flushed the toilet, after wiping a few times.

Okay, i have more poop inside me apparently. Squeezing it out as I type. It was really hard to type that last sentence. Water splashed into my butt. It is really wet and cold now. I blew my nose with a piece of toilet paper.

I wiped my ass again, and managed to get the drip of water out of my asshole. It is a lot more comfortable now. I decided to listen to some music, playing some metal while taking a shit has motivated me. I wipe my ass some more. But apparently it was too hard, as my ass is bleeding now. It really stings down there, i wonder if i have shit in my bloodstream right now.

I flushed my waste down the toilet. I am almost done. I decided music is not what I should be using and started thinking about life, and that one time I almost had sex at 13 years old. My feel are tingling so hard. It hurts so bad. Decided to have a quick wank while pooping, like any normal human being does. Cleaned up pretty well.

I just remembered i forgot to turn off my computer upstairs for about a week. I forgot i had an upstairs. I ran out of toilet paper. I just have a little shit left on me. I decided to use my sock. I hardly go outside anyway. One sock wasn't enough. Goddamn, looks like I'm using my other sock.

Both of my socks are completely stained brown. But my ass is clean. Tried getting up and fell over on the bathroom floor. My face hit the ground and I have bruised my face, but now I am out of the bathroom. The people who came in didn't take anything, so I guess I am fine, i have locked my door. Thanks for listening to my shit story.