Did you hear about the phantom thevs? There the new thing you should report on. There like Spiderman but better

I DON'T KNOW WHO THESE FATDOM DEVS ARE. GET BACK TO WORK AND BRING ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN, THAT FREAK IS A MENACE UNLIKE THOSE WHATEVER THOSE YOU MENTIONED ARE, NEVER HEARD OF 'EM PARKER P A R K E R WHERE IS THAT KID, DANG IT

Thanks Mr J. Jonah Jameson, you’re very dedicated. anyways idk where spider man is he’s probably still busy fingering elsa from frozen

Hey kid it's not cool to say that, we have rules. Besides that, consider it's half past six, babe! Time to head for, Golden lights! It's a good time, for the great taste, dinner, at McDonald's! It's Mac Tonight! C'mon make it Mac Tonight!

WHAT WHO IS THAT GUY WHAT IS THAT MAN, PARKER, EXPLAIN THIS ANYONE, TAKE A PICTURE OF IT, I WILL PAY YOU 200 DOLLARS AND THE POSITION OF THE DAILY BUGLE'S NEW PHOTOGRAPHER "MOON MAN ADVERTISES MCDONALDS AT DAILY BUGLE. STOPPED. NEWSPAPER CREW ARE THE HEROES" THAT'S WHAT THIS CITY NEEDS, NOT THOSE TACKY KIDS WITH DADDY ISSUE

HEY SIR HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE ALMIGHTY HAREMFUCKER