Ok. If you're sure....
Mig, *sigh* Death is something that comes for all of us, to think that no one you care about will die, to think you can somehow stop death. It's selfish, It's childish, it's what causes people to seek extreme means to stop death.
Death is natural, it's a part of the world just like life, It's not like killing someone damns their soul to eternal torture.
You need to learn that sometimes it's ok to kill, sometimes it's ok to let someone die. Sometimes things happen, sometimes its your fault, sometimes its not. And holding onto every single life as if it's something precious is a quick path towards self destruction.