I have something to respond to that with directly, but it's stuck in my head right now. It's tough to get out. <br> <br> Anyways, I appreciate you talking with me. It's very tough to find the courage to go to someone else and talk about this stuff, so I'm glad you came to me. While I can't say my moral values match up with your own as it seems to me, you've given me plenty to think on. Thanks again.

Y'know, when I made this account, my idea was to try and vent a little. But... whenever I try and vent, I always feel like I'm just trying to get attention. I just feel bad about it. I'm not even sure if my problems are real anymore; maybe I'm just making them up or enlargening them to try and get noticed. <br> I do know when this thought first started. A while back, a few years now, I had some pretty bad major depression due to bullying I had gotten for the past few years. I often would distance myself from everyone, although whether it was a feeling of fear or a feeling of being undeserving to be with everyone else is unknown to me. A few people would come and talk to me. These people were some of my most loved and admired people for doing that, and it's a shame I'll most likely never see them again. But I vividly remember a day when another person saw one of them talking to me, and they said, &quot;Oh, ignore him. He's just trying to get attention.&quot; <br> This idea that I might be buying for attention whenever I try and get my feelings or ideas out has changed a lot of decisions I've made since then, and it's also caused a good few sleepless nights. And... I'm glad I got to say it out somewhere besides my own head. <br> <br> Just note that this isn't anything RP related. I'm not setting something up. <br> Thanks for reading, if you did. It means a lot, honestly. <br> -M/JAP

Apologies for that. I didn't see your question before I posted. <br> <br> I guess I'm scared to be in that role of just being someone who does nothing. Who only really cares for themselves and just lays around mooching off others. I'm scared I'm going to become that, I suppose. I don't necessarily want to leave an impression, but I don't want to be a nothing. <br> If that contradicts a bit with what I said before, I apologize. I have a tendency to waver a bit with my wording. <br> <br> Thank you for responding. It really does mean a lot.

Thank you, but I'd prefer to say away from PMs or anything that's just between myself and another. It's just a little too personal, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I know that's kinda ironic, but it's how I feel. <br> <br> I know I can take my life into my own hands, and I need to, but I'm just so worried I'll fall into old habits and never learn to live life. I have a really bad tendency to expect the worst when it comes to things, or at least always remember it's a possibility, even when it's completely improbable. Just as an example, I used to be extremely scared of airplanes and rollercoasters to the point of almost crying since I was so worried they'd crash. I'm much better now, but it's still there in the back of my mind. <br> So I have the thought of myself failing life and living my days on the street stuck in my mind every time I made a decision that regards my future, or even talk about it.