[insert deli name here] - Phansite Archive

You'll find here all archived threads from the Phansite forum.

Reperzel

[insert deli name here]

ya know what, ive been noticing, THERES TO DAMN MUCH COFFE SHOPS. so, zane, the 7'3 man, has made something that ain't a cafe, instead, he made a deil, yay, inside, theres a few neon lights hanging around, a few punching bags in the back, a few 70-80s posters, and some 80-90s music playing, and behinf the counter, and where he makes the food, is his famous 7'1 claymore, now, the question is: is anyone gonna come?

Reperzel

[he flips the signthats says ''CLOSED'' to ''OPEN''] hehe.....i think this'll be the first non-coffee shop...good for me

(edited by Reperzel)

Cafe

(A voice is carried on the wind and into the deli.) "Excuse me. Do you serve coffee here? I am the God of Cafes. And if you don't serve coffee, then I cannot protect your establishment."

Reperzel

um.......look, mate, whoever ya are, im sick and tired of coffee, alright?, i want something diffrent

(edited by Reperzel)

Reperzel

and where i come from....delis are everywhere.....soooo

Cafe

(The wind lifts up again.) "Very well. I shall take my leave, but just know that I will feel no guilt whenever your establishment comes under fire." (The wind begins to calm and go quiet.) "Fare ye well."

Reperzel

wait....fire?....oh..c'mon

Haruko

A deli? What? *The sheer absurdity causes Haruko to stop here instead of a cafe.*

Reperzel

really? am i the only one here that knows what a deli is?

Haruko

It sells meat. But why do you own one?

Fayth

*Fayth appears* Call it Subway or a damn sandwich shop. No-one cares what a Deli is. *Fayth vanishes*

(edited by Fayth)

Reperzel

sigh....basicly, think of it as a cafe but, instead, of coffee, its with sandwhiches.....

Reperzel

i own one, cuz IM SICK AND TIRED OF GOD.DAMN,COFFEE

Fayth

*Fayth appears behind Zane again* Just because you were banned from a coffee shop. And then arrested. Again. Because you suck. *Fayth vanishes again.*

Reperzel

sigh....look, dissapering guy, i have 1 rule: if ya aint here to have a good time, then get out

Fayth

*Fayth appears again* Nah *Fayth sets fire to a curtain then vanishes again*

Reperzel

just.....get the fuck out

Fayth

*Fayth appears again, sitting in a chair, his feet up on the table* But I want a sandwich. I'm hungry. Also, your curtains on fire. Probably should get that looked at.

Reperzel

OH, FUCKING HELL [he quickly puts the fire out] sigh...,,ok, hold up mate [five minutes later] here ya go mate, all meater sandwhich, every meat we have

Fayth

*Fayth smirks, resetting the fire during the 5 minutes* I'm vegetarian. Also, your curtains still on fire.

Reperzel

OH, FUCKING HELL MATE [once again, he puts out the fire]...how the hell does this happen?

Eito

A motorcycle is heard outside,approaching at dangerous speeds.Eito can be heard shouting. "SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT" As the motorcycle approaches,it's quite obvious the door won't hold when Eito reaches it.

Reperzel

OH C'MON [he jumps where the door is, having a maybe smart idea, to try to hold in place]

Fayth

*Fayth shrugs* It's a mystery to everyone. *Fayth snaps his fingers, causing a gust of wind to open the door, letting Eito and his bike in. Because Fayth is such a nice person.*

(edited by Fayth)

Eito

A vicious screetching of tires is heard a couple feet ahead of the door,followed by the door being hit by something,though not even close to the force of the motorcycle. "Ow..."

Reperzel

[he trys to grab to motorcycle, and trys to stop it in place and looks over to fayth] HEY MATE, FUCK YOU

(edited by Reperzel)

Fayth

Your customer service needs work. Swearing at someone for no reason like that. *The fire engulfs the entire curtain due to the wind.* You must be quite the hot head. Also, still waiting for that sandwich.

(edited by Fayth)

Reperzel

[he once again puts the fire out, ad then grabs fayth by the shirt coller] get.out.now.

Eito

OOC:I think I posted it weird.The motorcycle was stopped,the force was Eito flying off and landing on the door.

Fayth

*Fayth vanishes, reappearing at another table* But I'm hungry. And you never gave me that sandwich I ordered.

Reperzel

yah, no, next time ya come, don't set everything on fire ya moron

Fayth

I don't know what you're talking about. Your place just seems to- *The curtains are set ablaze again* -spontaneously combust. Not my fault.

-KillerQueen-

blows the deli up

(edited by -KillerQueen-)

Eito

Guys,haven't we bullied Rep enough?

(edited by Eito)

Reperzel

sigh...[he quickly puts out the flames, and this time, he rips off the curtains, and throws the curtains into the trash]

Fayth

Aww. I liked those curtains. Really brought the room together. Well anyway. *Fayths claps his hands with a smirk* Sandwich. Unless something else wants to spontaneously combusts for no reason.

Reperzel

fine.... [he throws lettuce into some bread, and gives it to fayth] done.

Fayth

Put some effort into it now. If I wanted lettuce and bread, I would have gone annoy the supermarket clerks instead of bothering to come here.

Reperzel

mate, im sick and tired if ya bullshit, so, if ya would please, fuck off, that'll be great

Mode-Red

While everybody was being bonkers and chaotic, Mordred was sneaking of out through the back with a cartoonishly large leg of ham. She quietly chuckled to herself. She had heard stories about this Zane guy and how he was in deep with the law and all the other superpowered folk did not tolerate his shenanigans. As she approached the door, she called out to Zane, "THANKS FOR THE FREE MEAT, DIPSHIT!!" She immediately fled, taking the giant ham with her. By the time anybody realized what happened, she already got away.

Fayth

Not without my sandwich. Cheese, Tomato, Lettuce, Ham, Salami in a bun. Can you manage that, Jail Snake?

Reperzel

sigh..........WHY IS THIS SO DIFFACULT

Reperzel

[he quickly looks at fayth, and has finally has enough] what....ehat did you just call me. MATE!

Reperzel

[he quickly grabs his 7'1, and slams the blade into him] NO ONE CALL ME THAT, YA FUCKER

Eito

Sighing in pain,Eito rolls around for a while before entering with a large box. "Hey-Oh fuck-Hey Zane!" "Oh dear God WHY-Here's a delivery for you."

Fayth

You gonna use that to cut the meat for my sandwich? I want my sandwich.

-KillerQueen-

Make me a sandwich with cheese, tomato, ham, green olives, nails (without milk), and bullet shells.

Reperzel

[before he swings, again, he grabs the box, outs it behind the cunter, and just ingores, fayth]

Reperzel

queen person...i can give ya everything on that except nails and bulllet shells, alright?

Eito

Reperzel would find it filled to the fucking brim with cash.About 2 million yen!There's a note on top. 'I'm giving you a chance to stop being a dickwad. Use this money responsibly. I'll know if you don't. Have fun.' There isn't a name signed.

Spooky_Voices

[A floating green blob can be seen rummaging through the pantry behind Rep's back.] "Now then. I just need to be real careful I don't touch this salt." [Dimple finds a bag of table salt and begins floating towards Rep from above.] "That bastard asked for my help getting rid of an unclean spirit, but why did I need to use salt? Damn fraud needed it to look like he actually did something for once. Whatever." [The spirit then tilts the bag and covers the excessively tall man in salt.]

Fayth

Hey Jail Snake? You salty? Well, I don't actually care. sandwich required.

(edited by Fayth)

Joe_Kuru

*Joe was minding his own business, strolling by when he saw how chaotic the deli was getting. A new store? And it's not a cafe? That was interesting. It was such a shame that it was being run by Zane, who looked like he couldn't get a single order made.* Ho boy... *At the permission of absolutely nobody, Joe got behind the counter and looked at some of the orders.* Cheese, Tomato, Lettuce, Ham, Salami in a bun. cheese, tomato, ham, green olives, nails (without milk), and bullet shells. Heh. Easy. *While Rep was keeping the crowd distracted with his typical stupidity, Joe got to work on assembling the orders. He was kind of surprised. Aside from what assumed to be a large slab of ham missing as well as nails and bullet shells, Reperzel had every other kind of ingredient with a bit of ham still leftover. He effortlessly made the sandwiches. Not that it required that much effort in the first place.* *Joe wrapped up the sandwiches and handed them to Fayth and Killer Queen.* Here you are folks. That'll be 1200 yen, but for Killer Queen, we did not have any nails or bullet shells. So we'll make your order only 800 yen. Does that sound fair?

(edited by Joe_Kuru)

Reperzel

oh my fucking god......WHY AM I THE INLY ONE WHO OWNS A STORE HAVING THIS MUCH OF A FUCKING DIFFACULT TIME

Eito

Without warning,an extremely strong force assaults Reperzel,making him hit the ground.After hitting his head against the ground a couple times and kicking him in the stomach for good measure,a note appears on his chest. 'WHAT DID I SAY?' 'PROMISE ON YOUR GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S GRAVE THAT YOU'LL SPEND IT RESPONSIBLY OR I'LL TAKE IT AWAY'

(edited by Eito)

Food-Critic

Hello, I am a very well renowned food critic. I have come to your deli to taste your food and see how good of a deli you are. I will be grading you on speed, taste, and the how the deli looks. For my order, I would like an Italian style bread with lettuce, green olives, red onions, American cheese, and mayonnaise. Not toasted. I expect it to be done in 4 minutes.

Fayth

Finally. My thanks, good sir, for the delicious looking sandwich. *Fayth pays Joe the 1200 yen.*

Reperzel

OWWWW, FUCKING HELL MATE, WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!?!?!?!

Spooky_Voices

[Dimple whistles innocently.] "Salt did nothing. Oh well, I get paid either way." [The green blob passes through the door and disappears.]

Joe_Kuru

*Fayth pays Joe the 1200 yen.* Thank you very much. Enjoy your meal! *Joe put the 1200 yen into the cashier box and left the Deli, especially now that a food critic was there. It wasn't really his business, nor his money, so he left without taking anything. Just the satisfaction of making Zane look like a pathetic ass. Again.*

(edited by Joe_Kuru)

Eito

Staring at the food critic,Eito wobbles behind the counter and starts making the sandwich. "It's worth it..." In a minute or two,the critic gets his sandwich. "Here you go." In the meantime,a note floats down from some uknown realm and lands on Reperzel's head.

(edited by Eito)

Reperzel

[he glares at eito] i know ya gave the money mate, and ya should know imma spend the money like a moron...

(edited by Reperzel)

Reperzel

[he quickly grabs the note, and rips it, not caring]

Eito

"Look man,i'm not anywhere near that rich,though i'd certainly like to be." Eito shrugs. "I was just told to deliver this here and that i'd get payed half a million." Reperzel feels the irresistible urge to sneeze.

(edited by Eito)

Reperzel

A..alright t-A-CHOO...that was weird

Eito

Another note comes out of Reperzel's nose. 'You can't get rid of me that easily,motherfucker.'

(edited by Eito)

Reperzel

WHA...WHAT THE FUCK (he rips of up again) NO

Eito

Out of Reperzel's shirt comes another note. 'YES'

Reperzel

NO.NO.NO (he burns the note)

Note-God

Out from another room comes another note. 'LISTEN UP BITCH'

Reperzel

WHA....WHAT THE HELL...

Note-God

'PROMISE ON YOUR GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S GRAVE THAT YOU WILL SPEND THE MONEY RESPONSIBLY OR I'LL BRING HER BACK FROM THE DEAD AS A FUCKING THEATER PUPPET'

Reperzel

Um......the fuck I'd going on with me life

Shakespeare

*Shakespeare burst through the door, book in hand.* Huzzah! Applaud not, fine fellows. I have been brought here by the fine muses to buy a sandwich from this store! I hear this Deli is run by the giant of a man whom I have interacted with many a time in the past. And so, since he has won my favour, I am here. For food. From him. *Shakespeare bows dramatically.*

Note-God

'EVERYTHING AND NOTHING' More notes appear to come from nowhere. 'WILL YOUR HEAR-READ ME OUT NOW?'

Reperzel

Ay, will how ya doing. We on!y have one rule: if ain't here to have some good times, then get out

Reperzel

And fine note thing

Ghost_Akihiko

A cold breeze fills the deli as a shadowy purple figure slowly approaches through a haze that form in the cafe. The apparition would slowly approach the counter with his arms out as if to reach out for anything they can grab ahold of. "P-rotein...give me...protein!"

Note-God

'GOOD' Another note flies up from Reperzel's pants. 'NOT LIKE YOU HAD A CHOICE BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE MAKING IT EASIER FOR YOURSELF'

Shakespeare

Ah, but I am here for merry enjoyment and bread filled with gracious meat hunted from the animals of the wild! For you see, my stomach hungers for a meal. Now, bring me your best sandwich and I shall grant you the currency I have on me as payment for such a gracious act.

Reperzel

Ok then, I'll give my favorite sandwich (3 minutes later, he gives will sandwich, and inside is a whole tonna meat, all toastsed with a side of lettuce, just in case)

Note-God

A second note comes out of Reperzel's other trouser. 'I HAVE SENT YOU THIS MONEY' 'DESPITE BEING A HORRIBLE PERSON,YOU HAVE BEEN TREATED UNFAIRLY' 'NORMALLY,IT WOULD BE MY JOB TO GIVE YOU A MAGIC WEAPON,A PURPOSE THAT WOULD ULTIMATELY GRANT YOU GREAT FAME AND EVEN GREATER RICHES ALONG WITH YOUR TORMENTRORS' WEAKNESSES' 'HOWEVER,YOU ARE A DICK' 'SO YOU ONLY GET SOME SPARE CASH TO FIX YOUR LIFE UP'

Reperzel

Alrighty then, note thing

Note-God

'HOWEVER' 'I AM A MERCIFUL GOD' 'I CAN MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU'

Reperzel

Fuck it, what's the deal mate?

Note-God

'YOU WILL SLAY A MONSTER FOR ME' 'IN RETURN' 'YOU WILL BE GRANTED ANOTHER 3 MILLION YEN' 'ALONG WITH A SHINY NEW UPGRADE TO YOUR SWORD'

Reperzel

Hm...Alrighty then mate, what's the monster?

Shakespeare

Forsooth, my giant friend. Your wits have left you. You are speaking to the page like it is a sentient being that will talk back to you. The fairies have you in a midsummer nights dream. Oh, woe is you. The poor giant. The mad squire. The fool of the store who has yet to feed this hungry patron. Oh, Woe is me also, who has been taken by hunger and anguish. *Shakespeare strikes a tragic pose.*

Note-God

'HIS NAME IS BEHEMOTH' 'I CALL HIM FATASS' 'SO YOU SHALL ADDRESS HIM AS FATASS IN ORDER TO ANNOY HIM' 'HE IS A BIG-ASS HALF-ROCK HALF-ABOMINATION FULL DIPSHIT' 'HE IS BIG AS FUCK' 'THAT IS WHY I CALL HIM FATASS'

Minato_Arisato

However, just as things are looking up for Zane a mysterious figure would be watching from outside the deli. The boy outside would soon walk away with his hands in his pocket. "It's unfortunate, but I suppose he'll never know that I, Minato Arisato, have robbed his establishment of all their string for hanging meat! Soon they will discover my ingenious scheme though! Mwahahahaha!" With that the boy would pull out a bundle of string used for hanging meat and toss it up and down as he walked away.

(edited by Minato_Arisato)

Reperzel

Oh c'mon...and sure, I'll kill this fatass

Shakespeare

*Saddened by his apparent forgottenness, Shakespeare steals some meat, cheese and Lettuce, makes his own sandwich and leaves.* If your Deli is your livelihood, then, like Hamlet, I have stolen your life. Behold, the glory of the write's sandwich made with the guidance of the muses from your very kitchen. It holds all I need for nutrition. Farewell, you mad giant of a man. Farewell!

(edited by Shakespeare)

Note-God

'GOOD' 'HE RESIDES IN AN ALTERNATE REALM' 'HE HAS TERRORISED A RELATIVELY PEACEFUL REALM' 'NO MATTER HOW MANY KIDS I TURN INTO HEROES,HE DOESN'T GO DOWN' 'I REALLY HAD MY HOPES UP WHEN A KID NAMED DAVID WENT AFTER HIM' 'THAT IS WHEN I LEARNED THAT HIS NAME WAS BEHEMOTH AND NOT GOLIATH' 'POOR DAVID GOT USED AS A TOOTHPICK FOR A WHILE BEFORE BEING EATEN' 'HE WAS ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES' 'ANYWAY,IT'S BECOME A PAIN IN THE ASS GETTING ALL THESE KIDS TO TRY AND KILL THIS AIDS-HAVING FUCK'

Reperzel

Ok then will, see ya

Reperzel

brb gonna eat food

Note-God

'HOLD UP FUCKO' 'WE AIN'T DONE YET'

Reperzel

back look mate, I'll fight the fatass later

Jiyu-Hatanaka

A blue haired boy wearing a black beanie on his head opens the door and walks into the deli after hearing that there's a new deli in the Nexus. As the door closes behind him, he crosses his arms and looks around "Damn I missed going to these places back in Philly. Hopefully this place has good service just like my hometown's deli."

Reperzel

Ay, jiyu, how ya doing

Note-God

'YOU SURE WILL,YOU LAZY ARSE' A note flies in front of Jiyu,staying up in the air for a bit longer than a normal note should. 'TRUST ME,YOU'LL BE SURPRISED AT HOW DISSAPOINTED YOU'LL BE BY THE END'

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu stops looking around, looks over to Zane and shrugs "Pretty good, I guess. How about you?" Jiyu blankly stares at the note "Uhh, what?"

(edited by Jiyu-Hatanaka)

Reperzel

I'm fine...just doing great

Eito

Eito,who is at that point recuperating from his injuries in a booth,weakly waves to Jiyu. "Hey,dude."

Note-God

Another note appears out of nowhere. 'ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT THIS MAN IS A DISSAPOINTMENT TO THE ENTIRE SERVICE INDUSTRY' 'I AM ASHAMED THAT HE IS MY LAST HOPE'

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu turns to Eito and notices his injuries "Hey Eito. How did you get hurt?" Jiyu notices the other note, not even questioning it "Last hope? For what?"

(edited by Jiyu-Hatanaka)

Reperzel

He ran his motorcycle onto my deli shop....soooo

Eito

Eito is too busy writhing in pain to respond,only weakly grunting in approval at Reperzel's explanation.

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu doesn't even turn to Zane because he's still awaiting a response from the note "So that explains the huge dent in the door."

Note-God

'MY LAST HOPE IN KILLING SOME BIG,STUPID,UGLY MONSTER' 'AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT HIS MOM' 'I ALREADY SLEW THAT WHALE LAST NIGHT'

(edited by Note-God)

Reperzel

Just....just no

Note-God

'YES'

Jiyu-Hatanaka

"A big stupid ugly monster? Is there any reason why it needs to be killed?"

(edited by Jiyu-Hatanaka)

Reperzel

Why am I questioning this...

Reperzel

Well, imma kill it...yay

Note-God

'BECAUSE IT'S TERRORIZING PEOPLE' 'IT ALREADY KILLED LIKE 12 KIDS' 'GRANTED,ALL OF THOSE WERE MY FAULT BUT HE'D HAVE KILLED THEM IF HE HAD THE CHANCE ANYWAY' A couple of notes come out from under the counter and fly over to Reperzel. 'I DON'T KNOW' 'BUT REMEMBER' 'JUST BECAUSE I'M YOUR BENEFACTOR DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T INSULT YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY'

Reperzel

Well....can I bring someone with me...like jiyu. Or Eito?

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu turns to Zane once again "I'm always ready for a fight, so I can join you."

Note-God

'MAYBE' A couple of notes fly in Jiyu direction. 'HEY,HIPPY,DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THIS DISSAPOINTMENT TO HUMANITY ON HIS JOURNEY?' Another few notes go over to Eito . 'HEY,GET UP YOU FUCKING LOSER,DO YOU WANT TO HELP THIS ASSHOLE KILL A MONSTER?'

Reperzel

Yay....cuz as y'all know...I fail.....alot

Eito

Eito moans in pain as he swats a couple of notes away from him. "Fiiiiiiiine."

Reperzel

Yayyyyyyyy, friends

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu looks annoyed when he turns to the other notes "Didn't I just say that I'd join him?"

Note-God

'WE DO KNOW' 'WE KNOW IT VERY WELL YOU FUCKING VIRGIN' 'ANYWAY,APPARENTLY THESE CUNTS HAVE DECIDED TO HELP YOU' 'I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY'RE WILLING TO SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO SUCH TORTURE BUT WHATEVER REASON THEY HAVE ENDS WITH THEM JOINING IN ON THE PAIN-I MEAN FUN' 'HURRAY'

(edited by Note-God)

Reperzel

(The 7'3 man runs out win his 7'1 claymore) WOOOOOOOOOO

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu just slowly walks out the door with his eyes closed

Note-God

'PUT DOWN YOUR SHARP DILDO BEFORE YOU KILL ANYONE YOU FUCKING DOWNIE' 'ANYWAY,I CAN'T UPGRADE IT FOR YOU WHEN YOU'RE MOVING IT AROUND LIKE THAT' A couple notes follow Jiyu outside 'YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE'

(edited by Note-God)

Reperzel

WELL IM SORRY. MATE

Eito

Eito flips off some of the notes. "I haven't even read you but I know you're insulting me."

Jiyu-Hatanaka

*Sigh* "I don't feel like running at all. But then again I do have this to keep me going at a fast speed." Jiyu takes out a green soda can from his pocket and chugs it down. Right when a green aura starts to glow around him, he zooms off into the distance as a green blur

Note-God

Should Jiyu search his pockets any time soon,he'd find another note. 'TOLD YOU' 'YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T FUCKING HIDE' Back in the deli,a couple more notes show up. 'NOW PUT YOUR SWORD DOWN,ANDRE THE RETARD'

Reperzel

Sigh....fine (he throws the claymore down) there ya go

Reperzel

brb gotta do some things

Note-God

'GOOD JOB FUCKING UP YOUR FLOOR' 'ANYWAY,GIMME A MINUTE TO CHANGE IT' More and more notes show up,from every single possible place of entry. 'ALAKAZAM MOTHERFUCKERS' More and more notes start entering,completely surrounding Reperzel's sword. 'PREPARE TO BE WOWED'

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu takes the note out of his pocket "Whatever. Now, if you could direct me to the place where I'm supposed to go instead of trying to annoy me, then that would be fine."

Note-God

'NOWHERE' 'GO BACK TO WHATEVER STRIP CLUB YOU CAME FROM' 'I'LL CALL FOR YOU WHEN I NEED YOU' 'DON'T ANSWER THE CALL AND JUST KNOW THAT IT'S GOING TO BE YOU,ETERNALLY PLAGUED BY MY MOCKING NOTES.' 'NOT ME'

Jiyu-Hatanaka

"Whatever you say, talking note." Jiyu then runs backwards at an even greater speed

Reperzel

Ohhhh, wonder what this new powers gonna be

Note-God

The sword starts floating,hilt towards the ground as even more notes surround it. 'ALMOST DONE' The sword is no longer visible,completely surrounded by the notes as more come even now. 'AAAAAAAAAAND' All the notes disperse,gathering themselves in the shape of a person. 'ALRIGHT BUDDY,WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR NEW MURDER STICK'

Reperzel

LEMMESEELEMMESEELMEEEEEE

Note-God

Reperzel would find that his sword is much more impressive.It's hilt is now gold,with beautiful carvings and gems imbedded into it. 'PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT MY CHOSEN HERO,NO MATTER HOW MUCH I RECOIL WHEN I CALL YOU THAT,HAS ALL THE AUTHORITY AND EVEN MORE SWAG' Moving up,the blade is literally glowing,more beautiful carvings on it which,should one inspect closer and discover,depict a figure with a giant sword battling an even bigger creature. 'ASIDE FROM LOOKING COOL AS FUCK,THIS NEW SWORD HAS A COUPLE OF ADVANTAGES OVER IT'S PREVIOUS FORM" 'SIMPLEST OF ALL,I HAVE MADE IT GROW BY HALF A FOOT.' 'I COULD DO THE SAME WITH YOUR DICK BUT WITH INCHES.' 'DO YOU WANT ME TO?'

Reperzel

1st: thank ya very much. 2nd: no

Note-God

'GOOD,BECAUSE I WAS LYING' 'ONLY MY COUSIN CAN DO THAT AND NOT EVEN YOU DESERVE WHAT SHE'D MAKE YOU DO IN EXCHANGE' 'ANYWAY,GRAB THE SWORD,BECAUSE THERE'S MORE TO SHOW YOU'

Reperzel

(He gabs the claymore now 7'2 feeling a boost if badassness to)

Note-God

The moment he touches the sword,Reperzel feels immense strength and endurance envelop him. 'IN ORDER FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO DO LITERALLY ANYTHING TO BEHEMOTH WITHOUT BEING COMPLETELY FUCKED,YOU'LL NEED A COUPLE BUFFS TO CATCH UP TO HIM' 'SO NOW YOU CAN THROW CARS AND SHIT' 'I MEAN,YOU'LL PROBABLY BREAK YOUR ARMS OR BE TOO EXHAUSTED TO DO IT MORE THAN ONCE BUT YOU CAN DO IT' The Note Person walks over to Reperzel,putting a hand over his shoulder.Despite having no expression,he is easily one of the most expressive people Reperzel has ever met. 'BUT WAIT' 'THERE'S MORE'

Note-God

'SWING IT AROUND A BIT'

Reperzel

Ok (he swings his claymore around, wondering what will happen)

Note-God

Wherever he swings the claymore,Reperzel can see that it leaves behind it a sort of trail,making it look like the sword was slashing reality itself. 'YOUR SWORD IS NOW EXTREMELY SHARP AND WILL NEVER DULL' 'NOT PARTICULARLY FLASHY BUT IT'S USEFUL' 'LAST OF ALL,YOU CAN DO MAGIC,RIGHT?'

Reperzel

I can do no magic, sorry

Note-God

'NOW YOU CAN' 'SORTA'

Reperzel

OHHHHN, WHAT KIND OF MAGIC?!?

Note-God

'CARD MAGIC'

Reperzel

What?

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu peeks his head through the doorway of the deli "Yeah, I can do magic."

Reperzel

Card magic?

Note-God

The Note Man turns to face Jiyu. 'I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU SONIC.' 'YOUR UPGRADES COME LATER' The Note Man faces Reperzel once again. 'I'M FUCKING WITH YOU' 'BASICS ARE:THINK OF AN ELEMENT' 'NOW DO THAT'

Reperzel

Hm......maybe....fire

(edited by Reperzel)

Note-God

'GOOD' 'NOW FOCUS' 'AS DIFFICULT AS IT MAY BE FOR YOU,I NEED YOU TO THINK' 'WHAT IS A FIRE TO YOU?' 'WHAT DOES FIRE DO?' 'WHAT DOES FIRE LOOK LIKE?' 'I NEED YOU TO FOCUS AND THINK ON THOSE AND MORE' 'ON ANYTHING CONCERNING FIRE'

(edited by Note-God)

Jiyu-Hatanaka

Jiyu just goes back to leaning on the wall of the deli

Reperzel

Ok...um...fire...forest fires...lighters...my mix tape...

Note-God

'VERY FUNNY' 'YOUR MIXTAPE IS SO SHIT THAT I WOULDN'T EVEN USE IT TO WIPE MY ASS' 'NOW BE SERIOUS'

Reperzel

Hahaha....ya outta ad it that was funny..anyways (he gets gets back to concentrationing)

Fayth

*Fayth appears, sets fire to Zane's trouser leg, the curtains in the bin and disappears laughing*

Reperzel

OH, SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT, IM ON FIRE....AHHHHHHHH

Note-God

The Note Man snaps his fingers as all the fires disappear. 'FUCK OFF' Anyway,as Reperzel focuses,he feels a strange heat emanating from the sword's blade. 'IF YOU'D BE SO KIND AS TO OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES'

Reperzel

Ohhhh...(he open his eyes wondering what's gonna happen) ohhhhh

Fayth

*Fayth reappears, write "Nah" on the back of Note God's note and sits at a table.*

Note-God

More notes appear out of nowhere and concentrate on the Note Man's crotch,creating quite the fallic object. 'SUCK MY PAPER DICK' The notes disappear as the Note Man turns his attention to Reperzel.Once he opens his eyes,Zane can see that his sword's blade is completely engulfed in flames! 'NOW YOU CAN DO THAT TOO' 'NOT JUST WITH FIRE EITHER'

Reperzel

HOLY SHIT THIS FUCKING AWESOME.....AND, YOU MEAN I CAN DO THIS WOTH OTHER ELAMENTS..WOOOOOO

Fayth

*Fayth snaps his fingers, setting the paper man and the curtains in the bin for some reason on fire.* How's about you suck that instead? That's my last suck to give. All outta sucks. Especially for you lot.

Note-God

'YES' 'THAT IS WHAT I SAID' 'BUT DON'T THINK YOU'RE A FUCKING MAGIC MAN NOW' 'YOU CAN ONLY DO IT TO THIS SWORD' The Note Man shrugs and walks away from Reperzel. 'THANKS,I WAS GETTING CHILLY' The Note Man snaps his fingers as the flames completely engulf the curtains,turning them to ash. 'POOR THINGS' 'THEY DIDN'T DESERVE THIS SHORT LIFE'

(edited by Note-God)

Reperzel

So...it's still fucking awesome

Note-God

'I JUST DON'T WANT A COCKWAD LIKE YOU GETTING TOO COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR POWER' 'I HOLD ALL THE STRINGS HERE' 'I ALSO HOLD THE SCISSORS' 'SO DON'T TRY ANYTHING YOU KNOW YOU'LL REGRET' With another snap of the fingers,Reperzel feels a sudden but small weight on his back.

Reperzel

Oh...me back

Note-God

'OH,YOU BACK,YOU FUCKING CAVE MAN' 'ANYWAY,THERE'S ANOTHER GIFT FROM MOI ON YOUR BACK'

Reperzel

(He grabs the gift from his back)

Note-God

It's a smooth,wooden sheath!There are of course,many intricate and beautiful designs carved on it. 'CARRYING THAT BIG FUCKING THING AROUND ALL THE TIME IS GOING TO BE BOTH A NUISANCE,A HEALTH HAZARD AND AN INVITATION FOR PEOPLE TO STEAL IT.' 'PUT IT IN THE FUCKING SHEATH' 'IT'S MAGICAL AS WELL'

(edited by Note-God)

Reperzel

(He puts 7'2 claymore and puts in the sheath which is on his back) wow....this feels nice

Note-God

'IT IS' 'EXPENSIVE AS FUCK TOO' 'MY NEPHEW MAKES THESE' 'HE WAS ALWAYS A STINGY LITTLE TWAT' As soon as the sword is put into the sheath,all the weight of both items is lifted from Reperzel's body. 'NOW IT DOESN'T WEIGH ANYTHING'

Reperzel

Holy shit...this is amazing

Note-God

'IT IS,ISN'T IT?' 'SO?' 'WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY OFFER?' 'ALL OF THIS ALONG WITH 5 MILLION YEN TO KILL BEHEMOTH' 'ARE YOU SURE?'

Reperzel

Fuck it, I'll do it

Note-God

'WONDERFUL' 'BUT FIRST' 'YOU HAVE TO NAME THE SWORD' 'NO MYTHIC HERO WIELDS A NO-NAME WEAPON' 'WE NEED SOMETHING TO IDENTIFY IT'

Reperzel

Hm.....ya have any ideas?

Fayth

Name it after yourself. You know. Dickweed. Bad Sandwich maker. Jail Snake. Something like that.

Reperzel

Oh piss off mate

Note-God

'THESE ARE ALL EQUALLY GOOD NAMES' 'THEY ARE SO GOOD THAT I THINK WE SHOULD NAME IT AFTER YOU INSTEAD' The Note Man faces Reperzel,his fire long extinguished. 'HOW DOES FAGGOT SOUND?'

Reperzel

No....no, how bout....."serpents surprise"

Fayth

God. If you're gonna name it something stupid, at least name it something that doesn't sound like your waving your dick around.

Note-God

'IT'S NOT A FUCKING DAGGER' The Note Man motions to the entirety of Reperzel. 'BESIDES,LOOKING LIKE YOU LOOK AND WIELDING WHAT YOU WIELD,YOU AIN'T SURPRISING ANYONE' Turning to face Fayth,The Note Man smiles,despite having a detailess face. 'FINALLY,SOMEONE CALLS ME BY MY TRUE TITLE' 'ANYWAY,YOU AREN'T CONTRIBUTING ANY SO DON'T COMPLAIN WHEN I MOCK YOU ENDLESSLY'

(edited by Note-God)

Reperzel

Yeah...that....that was a bad name

Minato_Yuki

A blue sticky note flies over to the sticky note man

(edited by Minato_Yuki)

Note-God

The Note Man grabs the blue note. 'WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?'

Minato_Yuki

The note says "Ur smelly, lol."

Note-God

'FIRST OF ALL,I DON'T SMELL OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN PAPER' 'SECOND OF ALL,WHEN I FIND WHICHEVER DICKWAD DID THIS,I WILL ROLL IT UP INTO A TIGHT LITTLE WAD AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR DICK'

Note-God

'ANYWAY,CALL IT THE REAPER'S INVITATION OR SOME SHIT' 'I DON'T REALLY CARE,I'VE GOT SHIT TO DO AND PLACES TO BE,SO LET'S SPEED UP A LITTLE YEAH?'

Reperzel

I'll just name it later, k?

Reperzel

How bout....the jeweled beauty?

Note-God

'FINE,WHATEVER,THIS SHIT HAS DRAGGED ON FOR TOO LONG' With a snap of The Paper Man's fingers,the sheath disappears and the sword clangs to the floor,back to normal.On The Paper Man's other hand is a contract. 'HEAVENLY BEAUROCRACY' 'I NEED TO HAVE YOU SIGN THIS'

Note-God

OOC:Yo,Rep,are you still alive?

Reperzel

still here mate

Reperzel

(He signs the contract) there we go

Note-God

'GREAT' The sword regains it's new form as the sheath reappears.The Note Man disassembles into hundreds if not thousands of notes which start surrounding Reperzel and honestly getting too close for comfort. 'WE'RE NOT QUITE DONE YET' 'ONE LAST STEP'

Reperzel

Um....what is it?

Note-God

All the notes start clinging to Reperzel,starting to cover his entire body. 'DON'T STRUGGLE' 'YOU'LL ONLY MAKE IT TAKE MORE TIME'

(edited by Note-God)

Reperzel

Um...um....alright!???.

Note-God

All the notes start seemingly fusing with Reperzel,whether they're touching skin or clothes.It stings wherever there are notes.Which is everywhere on his body. 'ALMOST DONE'

Reperzel

(He trys to take the pain) owwwww

(edited by Reperzel)

Note-God

The pain soon disappears along with the the notes as The Note Man goes silent. "Hello?Is this thing on?" That voice didn't come from anywhere.It came from Reperzel's own mind.

Note-God

"Oh great,i'm here!" The voice inside Reperzel's head continues. "Ay,you fucking mango,can you hear me?"

Reperzel

WHA...WHO..WHAT..HOE THE HELL DID YA GET IN MY BRAIN

Note-God

OOC:On second though,i'm being a bit of a dick by stringing this along at this point.Should I just fuck off and finish the explanation another time?Plus,I gotta start up the GYM thread,i'm late.

(edited by Note-God)

Reperzel

its ya choice, Idc

Note-God

OOC:Eh,let's just do it here real quick. "As for the who,i'm sure you already know." "As for the how,you didn't read the find print." The voice chuckles. "You people never do." "As for the why...I want to hang out with you mortals but I can't exactly act like a person when I look like a shitty school project." "So i'm hitching a ride with you!"

Reperzel

Um....ok then, mate, why not

Note-God

"Wonderful,I hope you're ready for me to invade your privacy." "Now make us a bloody sandwich!"

Reperzel

I'm to lazy mate....sooo (he flips the sign to open to closed, and walks out)

Note-God

"Fucker." OOC:And that's it for me!If it wasn't painfully obvious,I am Eito.So,how'd I do as an unofficial kinda GM?

Reperzel

Ddo it

Queef

The female would kick open the already breaking door with a huge smile on her face, already knowing of the mischief and the owner. "What's up people?!" She'd shout amidst the chaos, the expression on her face remaining. She left the door open and made her way over to Eito. "I saw you make quite the entrance earlier."

Eito

"I certainly did." Eito groans.

Queef

"Ahaha, it was rather amusing really." She would sweetly smile at him before realising that she hadn't introduced herself yet. "Ah, I'm Luna by the way," she extended an arm to shake.

Eito

"Eito,nice to meet you." Eito,face down on the table,thrusts his hand in her vague direction. "Could you just,move your hand over to mine? Thanks."

(edited by Eito)

LordSpade

As a young man enters the Deli, a bell rings to notify that there's a new guest. "What kinda sandwiches do ya sell?" Spade makes his way to the counter to look at the menu behind it, "I should reword my question... Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm not particularly picky"

Jiyu-Hatanaka

A teenage boy with blue hair wearing a ripped black jacket enters the deli with his hands in his pockets while listening to music on his white headphones "I'm surprised that this place is still open. I'd close up this deli for a few days if I were Rep..."

Lvl_1_Izanagi

A giant man covered in metal and a black coat walks behind the counter. "Do not worry, mortal man! For I, Lvl 1 Izanagi shall serve you! May I recommend a fresh Ziodyne melt? It's cooked with the lightning of the original god!"

LordSpade

Spade thinks on it for a moment, then nods. "Yes, Ziodyne melt sounds good. The order is for 'Spade Kirou' how much do I owe?"

Lvl_1_Izanagi

Lvl 1 Izanagi would take 2 slices of bread and between them put multiple kind of cheese, lettuce, and meats. He would then proceed to strike the combination with a fierce bolt of blue lightning. The end result would be a toasted sandwich that he would call the Ziodyne Melt. He would hand the sandwich to the young man. "No cost this time. Think of it as a way of spreading our business' fame throughout the land!"

Queef

"Eito,nice to meet you." Eito,face down on the table,thrusts his hand in her vague direction. "Could you just,move your hand over to mine? Thanks." "Ahaha," a small laugh would escape her mouth before she'd stifle it. "With pleasure!" She replied chirpily, bringing her hand over to his warm one. "As for introductions, I'm Luna, nice to meet you~" Ohno, I've become Monika 2.0.. Her laughs are getting to me. Oh and the italic sentences or whatever seems like it isn't in character is obviously OOC

(edited by Queef)

LordSpade