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Leblanc: Birth By Memes
Oh boy here we go
Another?
You know you'll probably regret this right?
OOC: I'm going to bed so I can only imagine what's going to happen. Good luck Boss.
Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We are all pawns, controlled by something greater: Memes. The DNA of the soul. They shape our will. They are the culture. They are everything we pass on.
@HahaRIP
OOC: yeah, because we haven't had a new one in a couple days.
*Comes in* I have no idea how the drink machine thing started. Ah well. Mind if I have a cup of coffee?
OK then I guess just give me plenty of sugar in the coffee
@Tamaki_Uchida

OOC : I'm bored and I'm writing an essay right now so why not multitask
Ah, it's good to be back. Sort of.
More bitter coffee please.
I want a cup of memes with extra coffee.
Just give me anything and curry. Make sure the curry is xtra spicy too
@Firematthew

Here you go, fresh.
I missed 8 of these, but I'm here now!
So this is Leblanc cafe huh? What's on the menu?
Alright, sugared coffee, 2 bitter and a curry. Here you are folks
@Boss Thanks. Wonder how the craziness outside started.
Home again.
@JunpeiStupeiIori

Coffee, curry, and pancakes
Just give me whatever you recommend, Boss.
I'll have a spicy curry.
Pancakes?!
I'd like Spicy Curry on my Pancakes
Why do I have this feeling something crazy is going to happen to the cafe soon?
Coffee, curry and two stacks of pancakes right here, and one of them has curry on them....what an odd combo
D-d-delete dis
Everyone has their own tastes and why would we delete this thread @FutabaAlibaba?
...Spicy curry on pancakes?

Erm, I will just have a cup with milk and sugar.
@AdachiImouto

Here we are
Leblanc doesn't have a drink machine. I'm writing a bad review.
Find a meme to believe in, and find it yourself. When you do, shitpost it into the future.....

Also I'd like some coffee with sugar.
*hops in*

*hops on the counter*

Ribbit.
... seriously?
I'll take some pancakes, preferably without frog.
*screams*
The frog is here... Where is Kitagawa?
Cool frog you have there.
Alright, a stack of pancakes and a coffee
Wait, Frog?

Oh no.....oh no.....
Please don't let that frog anywhere near me.
I'll take that frog to go
Okay what's with the frog? I was gone for a few days. What did I miss that is so destructive?
Why is everyone seem so afraid of the frog? It's just a cute lil frog
That frog is the single most powerful entity to exist. It's just a regular everyday frog, but it is also very swole.
*eyes coffee*

Croak! Ribbit!
I'm pretty sure the frog has done something.. but I don't have the exact details...
This is Kitagawas frog.

It is, umm... Unique.
Can I pet him?
THE FROG IS HERE, HI FROG
I'm sure you're all exaggerating
*slams head on table*
*quietly sobbing*
@Frog

Ah, here's a thing of coffee little buddy.
WHATS WITH THE FROG
@FutabaAlibaba
YOU
NO QUESTIONS JUST LOVE THE FROG
Haru stop before I leak your nudes
GUYS WHAT DID THE FROG FUCKING DO
Oh, since I'm here, may I have some coffee with milk?
Being cute @FutabaAlibaba
@Hibiki
Hazama here has ended the world many times. This frog has reduced him to this state. Enough said.

@JunpeiStupeiIori
You can try. I wouldn't though.
It single-handedly kicked my ass in a fight. It also took a Nova Cyther like a champ, and is immune to almighty damage. Please don't fight that frog.
*drinks coffee*

*glares at @hazama*
Why did you try and fight the frog in the first place?
@FutabaAlibaba
-GRABS HOLD OF HER AND POINTS A GUN AT HER HEAD-
Oh my god the frog is drinking the coffee look at him go
WAIT WHAT
(OOC: Has frog been added to the wiki?) ....... *Steps away from frog.*
IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN HALF AN HOUR WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE
@FutabaAlibaba
It no sold full power Persona attacks, made a mess of the cafe and did unspeakable things to Hazama-san
Oh god I was right on the crazy thing.
@-HaruOkamura-
OH OKAY
uhm...Haru...could you possibly not
Welcome to the family, Hibiki.
@-HaruOkamura- Please explain why you have a gun pointed at Futaba's head.
@FutabaAlibaba
-PRESSES THE GUN AGAINST YOUR HEAD MORE-
GIVE ME THE FROG AND I WON'T SHOOT HER
WHY DO YOU WANT FROG
*Facepalms* Of course...
@-HaruOkamura-
WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT THE FROG PLEASE STOP
*springs onto @-HaruOkamura-'s face*

*bites*
*pulls Rifle out from under the counter*

Now okumura, you're gonna stop and sit down. Or I'm going to jail
@Souji Seta
YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHY I NEED THE GOD DAM FROG,ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT I WANT IT
I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS A FAMILY I WANNA BE PART OF IF THIS IS A COMMON OCCURENCE
@Frog
-CUMS HARD AS THE FROG BIT MY FACE-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~
WHAT THE FUCK
@Hibiki *In a deadpan voice* Welcome to the family.
@-HaruOkamura-
IS THIS SHITPOSTING!?
So I'm guessing this is normal around here? I'm loving this already.
wait if frog is so powerful, can frog just fight Haru off
@Frog
BITE ME HARDER~
@FutabaAlibaba
-STICKS GUN INTO YOUR MOUTH BECAUSE OF PLEASURE-
@FutabaAlibaba (OOC: If it is, it's incharacter shitposting) I should probably invest in a knife for my next trip here.
Yeah, does shit like this happen every time the cafe opens?
@-HaruOkamura-
I NO LONGER FEAR DEATH
@Souji Seta YES.
I just came for pancakes.... I'm gonna cry
*Walks into the cafe*
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Hello everyone.


Hmm? What's happen--

HARU!
@FutabaAlibaba
I LOVE YOU
What in the hell....
Hey frog, can I pet you again?
@Hibiki
-THROWS PANCAKES AT MACH 20 SPEED AT YOUR FACE-
@Boss is your rifle still out and pointed at Haru?
@-HaruOkamura-
CALL THE COPS
Atleast the coffee is still safe. *Sip*
*Takes out phone and begins to dial for the cops*
Did frog leave? :'(
@FutabaAlibaba
-KISSES YOU-
NOW STFU WHERES MY FROG
A cafe...I need a cup o-

*Notices situation*

STAR PLATINUM: THE WORLD

*Within what seems like an instant, haru is on the floor, bruised*
@AdachiImouto HOW ARE YOU CALM? I still am panicking on the inside
@-HaruOkamura-
Did..you just say "I love you" to another woman?

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I..I thought we had something special....
RUMOR HAS IT HAZAMA WAS HERE WHERE IS HE
@IamThou RIP HaruXIamThou
*looks down at Haru*
Yep, this is what I expected.
*stomp*
*leaps onto @Souji Seta's face*

Ribbit.
He may have left when none of us were looking.
So I heard you had this painting.

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Where is it!
(fist pump) yeah!! frog!!
Or he's still here.
@-HaruOkamura-

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*Sees Haru kiss Futaba*

HUH?! What...what is the meaning of this?!
*Walks in*
I WANNA YELL TOO
@IamThou @-HaruOkamura-
DROP THE GUNS THERES A CHILD
OOC: Am disappoint. Should've been Birth by Boss

Hey everyo- .... you know I'm not surprised.
@OceanMan1988 *hands some cash* I saw nothing.
Give me this painting and nobody gets hurt!

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*puts rifle back, confused* can somebody just tell me what just happened? I'm seriously confused....
@Firematthew
It's always like this. I am numb to it.
How many threats do we have going on right now?
@OceanMan1988
Yare Yare Darze, you think you can stop me that easily?
@Hazama
STOMP ME HARDER DADDY
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H-Ha-Haru...h-h-ho-how dare you...

*sniff*

*Runs out of the store while covering her eyes*
@bluehairedemo Do you want to know what happened?
@Boss
You have surpassed even the Boss. I hereby pronounce you: The Big Boss.
Uh, wrong LeBlanc buddy. There might be another in universe across from ours. Try that place.
@AdachiImouto ah. That makes sense. This is my second time.
Nobody touches the squid.

We have a homicidal frog to protect it
We have universe travel now?
*literally crying*
@Firematthew
I don't think I do...
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I demand this beautiful painting!
@Boss Someone nearly knocked Haru out because she was being crazy. I didn't see who did it though.
Mind if I have another curry?
The fact you're enjoying it makes me both slightly scared and mildly entertained.
*stomps hard and fast enough that anyone not seeing it would mistake it for a machine gun going off*
*refuses money*

What happens in this place? The others are talking like this is normal. That little girl over there is completely relaxed
Stupei? How did you get here?
Can someone actually knock Haru unconsious? Please? For our sanity?
.....

*hops towards @hazama*
Frog is all that matters!!
It's always sunny at LeBlanc's
*theme song*
*stops stomping to look at the newcomers*
This place is basically a gateway to other universes. The Sayuri over there is also always intact despite the destruction.
@Hibiki
*patpat*
@JunpeiStupeiIori

Here we are
@OceanMan1988 Apparently crazy stuff happens in this cafe so often. This place has been destroyed and rebuilt a lot. I have not been keeping track of the amount of times *reclaims his own money then*
*looks at frog*
No no no.
I should visit more often.
Also speaking of which, anyone here theoretically capable of rebuilding this place at the moment?
*stops yelling*
Anyway, I'll take the strongest coffee you have with cream please.
@Everyone
-falls down crying-
God why...
This place is at the beginning and end of everything. All returns to LeBlanc.
how is this place even still in business...
The only person I can think of is -Labrys-. She usually handles that.
This is more hectic that usual. I'll take some coffee, black.
Haru? *One eyebrow goes up while looking at her*
@-HaruOkamura-
Please put away the gun your still on the trigger there.
*yanks Haru's head off the ground by her hair*
Now, will you stop being a complete maniac?
@bluehairedemo i heard this place is pretty popular in Yongen-Jaya. So here I am.
-throws the gun away, the trigger still being pulled as it lands-
@-HaruOkamura-
You should probably go after her.
@JunpeiStupeiIori It is. It's just that everyone that usually comes is either crazy or is a regular. Possibly both.
@JunpeiStupeiIori
Well, hope you adjust to the madness.
I-I just wanted H-hot lesbian C-coffee sex...
*continues to leap closer to @hazama*
Listen I'm all for hot lesbian sex but this is far from the best way to go about it
Frog fight
How does coffee sex work?
Ah......let's just keep things peaceful....
Eep!
*kicks Haru away and assumes the fetal position behind the counter*
*Turns back to @Boss* Mind giving me another coffee, I have a feeling today's going to be a long day...
@-HaruOkamura-
Excuse me, what?
@FutabaAlibaba
-Gets up with a sly smirk-
I can show you if you want~
L-Lesbian coffee sex...?
There's no escaping this fate now.
@hazama Either you need to bail out and leave for a bit... or you may have to play defensively in a fight against frog. Then again it could be peaceful this time. Not sure which would end up happening. Good luck dude.
Hmmmmm
*scans @-HaruOkamura-*
Oh
Oh shit
Is sex in the middle of the cafe a regular thing too, then?
H-hey wasn't someone asking about me? Please, get that THING away from me.
... *takes out headphones and puts them in. Takes out phone and readies loud music, but it's still off for the second*
(cheering on frog)
Jesus Christ.....a coffee here

And haru, quit it. Or else
@RobowaifuAigis
Do you detect THOT?
I have no idea how to get frog away from you without it being a suicide mission.
*stands by @hazama*

*croaks innocently*
@hazama
You can join to if you want ;3c
@FutabaAlibaba
I'm not hearing a no ;3
.....ribbit?
@Souji Seta
N-Never before... atleast to my knowledge...
Leave that poor frog alone!
@bluehairedemo
Exactly
@Frog
I want to shove you in me
*gently places webbed hand on @hazama*
@AdachiImouto Er...are we gonna let it happen?

Go frog!! Do whatever you're doing!!
I don't wanna say no but I don't wanna say yes
@RobowaifuAigis
Oh shit... what should we do?
*just silently looking at the frog*
Did anyone bring any weapons to defend themselves with this time coming here?
@FutabaAlibaba
You don't want to miss out ;3c, Just ask @hazama
hazama had lesbian sex with Haru?
Um @-HaruOkamura- didn't IamThou come in and ran out? I think you may want to check up on her.
@bluehairedemo
Someone who can combat this threat should be notified immediately.
Oh god welp. Haru is a thot.
I come back and now there's 200+ posts.....okay



I guess I'll just have more pancakes with spicy curry on top of course
@RobowaifuAigis
... Aren't you someone who can combat the threat?
I can't say it was lesbian. No comment, actually.
I can't even tell what's happening anymore.
Boss, coffee please! Whatever ya recommend!
.......

*looks at @hazama*

............

*springs onto @hazama's face*
@Boss

Mind if I have a coffee? Im gonna need it
@hazama I think frog is offering peace to you..
@Souji Seta
Erm... I don't know... Are we?

@Firematthew
I never leave home without it.
@Hibiki
-Gives you an innocent smile-
Care to join?
Delet dis thread
Alright, two black coffees
*stands up, with both a frog and smile on my face*
@AdachiImouto It's...it's up to Sojiro-san, I guess...?

Oh god, it's a threesome now.
@AdachiImouto Just incase things get out of hand... be ready to use it but don't take it out.
Ribbit!
@-HaruOkamura-
uh, pass
leave me alone
plz
(takes picture of Hazama) a truly heartwarming sight
@bluehairedemo
I would have to get permission from Toaster Girl HQ first
As of now I'm only allowed to watch and record.
@RobowaifuAigis
Well shit...
@FutabaAlibaba
DELETE ME
*Turns on the loud music with his headphones in, so he can't hear anyone for a bit* (OOC: I'm afk for a bit... I'll be back)
How's your day, Boss?
*teleports behind you* nothing personal kid
@HifumiTogo

Not sure....
Sycophants on velvet sofas, Lavish mansions, Vintage wines~
@Firematthew
Well, just give me an excuse to use it. *Smiles creepily*

@AdachiImouto
Please don't use that without a REAL reason.
please no weapons
havent we been through enough
so LeBlanc is parttime shooting gallery, as far as I can tell
ATTENTION ALL LEBLANC PATRONS
A THOT BOMB IS CURRENTLY ACTIVE
PLEASE GO TO THE NEAREST ANTI-THOT CHAMBER AT ONCE!
@Souji Seta
Most of the time it's calm... I think.
"thot bomb"??
Relax, I'm just joking.

I fix problems, not create them. I owe it to oniichan and Labrys-senpai after all.
Well, that peace was short lived.
the creamy one please
We have an anti-thot chamber in this city?
Why does everyone want to destory this place?
*turns music off* the hell happened?
Haru has a THOT Bomb...
I looked outside. Apperently she lost it.
It's a thot gun now, apparently.
Thot.... gun?
I'm just going to stay in here for cover.
That guy with the hat is doing....something
Well, I guess this is a job for a PI.

If the bomb was lost, it is likely out in the open and in a place Okumura-san would go. Where does she make her rounds? Also, listen for ticking haharip noises. It may be close then.
@Hibiki don't ask. Just dont.
Uh, RIP Lavenza.
A really weird but tragic romance story/affair occurred today.
You could even say it was... Bizarre.
oh boy
*walks in and takes a seat.*
Hey @Boss, could I get a coffee, black please?
A bomb!
Hey Shinji. You missed all the chaos.
*comes back in* I would like to avoid talking about what happened inside.
I'm a certified thot patrolman. We heard that a thot bomb was activated? What is the predicament?
*outside
hey @Boss, can i have a coffee please?
Well... What a day already... There goes our adorable maid...

I would say I need a drink, but I know how that goes now.
The Thot bomb had gone missing before it blew up. No one knows where it expoded.
Alright....two coffees
Er, I know it's been crazy in here, but may I have my coffee now?
Hey @bluehairedemo. There's a time without chaos here?
thanks boss
I need more coffee please.
@ShinjiroAragaki
Apparently not...
@trumpkard
We are unharmed, officer.

Though... A life was claimed in the other thread. Send the ambulance.
Where could the bomb have possibly gone?
*Drinks coffee*
Thanks @Boss
someone died? so it's gonna be one of those days...
'Sup
@Adacholmouto we are dispatching EMTs to the thread.
I'll have a iced coffee boss.
Another two black coffees
Is that another commotion outside?
Some contract is being made.
*Drinks coffee* this is going to be a looong day isn't it.
@JunpeiStupeiIori

Here's an iced
@Firematthew indeed
@Boss Thanks...milk, please?
Wait? someone died? a contract? the hell am i missing now
Take a glance outside.
I thought we were doing lesbian sex. What the hell did I miss?
WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. GOING. ON
@Boss Two iced cocoas and a plate of curry,please!
@Souji Seta

Here's a glass
EVERYONE PLEASE STAY INSIDE
HARU HAS SIGNED HER SOUL TO AN OLD THOT GOD!
Old Gods? Sign? Soul?









RIP
I can confirm that the thot bomb is no longer on this plane of existence.

Lady Lavenza didn't die in vain. But there is a possibility Thotiah can bring it back...
@CrowNotGoroAkechi no clue
Well, if Okumura-san returns, be prepared. I am.
I don't know if I should be grateful for heading inside or lament deciding to come near leblanc today.