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Leblanc 4: I'm getting too old for this....
Please. No more. I just want to serve coffee
Hey, Sakura-san. I'm sorry. Give me a house blend.
Two shots of cream and a packet of sugar on the side please
Alright.....here you kids go, one black and one with cream and a packet of sugar
@morganlover The troll days are over, my friend.
It's okay, Boss. Your coffee keeps us warm even as the world is burning.

One milk and sugar, please. The usual.
Give me coffee with raw meat blended in.
@AdachiImouto
Here we are.
Oh for gods sake, the both of you get out
Thank you.

I feel I must apologize for the scene yesterday. I'm sure you understand, when family is involved, it is not easily left alone.
God damn it.
@AdachiImouto

It's alright, I just don't want any investigations in my shop after what happened last time.
Yo @morganlover shut the fuck up I'm trying to enjoy my fuckin' coffee here you fucking tryhard
I'm not quite a detective yet. Truthfully, after graduation I would like to be a PI. Leblanc will be safe from my prying, so don't worry.
@AdachiImouto

You've got some aspirations, just work on them and it'll be easy as pie from there
GET OUT
What in the actual fuck
What the hell is going on here?
what in the world
Why can't I just serve coffee in peace. I don't mind a few jokes but this is just stupid copypasta...
someone give me a hot cup of coffee so i can scald @morganlover to their painful demise
Thank you. I don't have much to lose, so forward is all I can go. It is motivation in itself.

And... I trust that that's not an endorsed ad.
I recommend retirement, start a different business that isn't a restaurant.
@3xcal1bur oooh gettin a lil... HOT
Oh geez...
Can I get as many shots of expresso as you're legally allowed to give? I feel like I might knock out cold next class ;;
Oh geez indeed.
Should I go with the bar plan?
This is why we can't have nice things
If you make a bar then your gonna end up with the same problem eventually.
@Enigma

Here's a tall glass of sugared espresso. Your funeral
I think I'm going to have to Astral the fuck out of Morganlover now
Or we throw this creature into the TV. I'm game for that.
Do something that cat jizz can't ruin. I don't know what, but you'll figure it out.
Yo, you guys need assistance from the

Thot Patrol?
BE GONE THOT
Ugh....what can I even do?
Or just start serving only Americanos. There is NOTHING that can make those any worse.
Is it just me or is it obvious af that the AkiraCheese guy is MorganLover
Whoa, Inari pulled out the hat. Shit's getting real!
Regardless, I'm tired of this garbage
When you think about it it makes sense...
AkirasDickCheese = MorganLover confirm
i honestly thought this thread could be a peaceful coffee meetup rp thing but of course the shitposting had to fuck it up.
A bar, huh? I think that would be fun.

N-Not that I'm at all interested in alcohol, but the environment would be warm.
Thanks, Boss. Hope your business goes well after this... mess ends.
Don't worry, I don't serve to minors, I have values
Sakura-san the bathroom is locked. Please open it. I need to take a piss.
*enters door* Hello
Got any good curry that you'd recommend Boss?
Your coffee is pretty good! I should revive the old gods so they can try it!
BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT BE GONE THOT
Yeah, spicy curry

Here's a couple cups of coffee for whoever wants them...

*contemplates concernngly*
im in my bed
drinking coffee
The restroom is still locked Sakura-san. I am about explode here.
Ah shit
I'll take an order of that spicy curry then Boss been a while since I had some.
bless up with that curry B
extra spicy curry with extra meat and a black coffee please.
Ah, sorry..it should be open. Have you tried knocking?
Alright, three plates of spicy curry, one with another helping of meat
May I have a refill? It seems the apocalypse is passing.
Ooh finally I took my piss.
@Boss thanks!
@AdachiImouto

Sure,here kid.
Ey boss make me the hottest coffee ya got
Thanks Boss
@Kumokia

Hottest? What like spice?
Yeah, and hottest water
Hello boss some coffe please
*Igor Pose*
Alright, two piping hot black coffees
Nice
Hey Boss, just popping in. I see you're on your fourth version of Leblanc in just a week? What is going on here and how do you have the money to keep moving? Please answer truthfully.
the silence before the inevitable shitposting and spamming is best enjoyed with coffee i guess.
cawfee
The best coffe in the world
@Sae Niijima

It's....ugh...
I've almost had to shut this place down for awhile...
I've kept going thanks to crowd funding and donations.
It's running thin though...
How are you today boss?
Bumped
Yeah, hard to keep a shop when the world keeps ending. If only some kind of special group could stop something like that...
I took a 2 hour nap...wtf happened
We have no saviors here, only memes

@Souji Seta

Something that not even Leblanc can protect against
@Souji Seta
More akechi rp-style spam
Memes are the DNA of the soul
Oh.... I see what's going on.
What is this alien language
Oh my god
@Jokers_Libido

You are not welcome here DEMON
I dont know
@Mishima I SUMMON THEE BRING FORTH THE HAMMER OF DESTRUCTION AND CLEANSE THIS PLACE!
I should call an exorcist
Uhhggg..my head...@Boss...can I get a coffee..please...here's ¥10000 to cover it.
My junior PI instincts are telling me that this could be the work of the same forces that keep ending the world. Maybe those Phantom Thieves will do something. Or those... Inaba accomplices...
We are livin dark times
@-Labrys-
Here, but uh...you sure you wanna give me that much? It's only ¥100
@-Labrys-
damn 10,000 yen is too much
Hopefully I don't have to call on those weird guys again...
*Â¥1000
The power of friendship ain't gonna stop God's spam @AdachiImouto
It's sad when a man has to keep switching coffee shops because the universe resets itself so much
*sips oil*
10,000 yen on coffee? what kind of allowances do you get, senpai...?
Shadow Ops must pay quite a bit then.
Ugh...I keep this place open for the good customers...
No. ¥10000. I mean it. For all you do for us. Also caused a bit of a ruckus yesterday so.

@RobowaifuAigis Oh, hi sis. Is that...oil..?
If you say so, @-Labrys-
We are your good costumers?
Also, where does she keep getting oil? It's not like she orders anything
Bump real quick, just to make it alive
That was on me as well. But thank you, senpai Again, thank you for the prior information.

As for the oil.. Maybe a gas station?
But that's crude...did she siphon that from gas tanks?
There is a Moel down the street I think...
But that's crude oil...not processed at al...where in gods name....?
Never question the robot girls
It's my shop, I'd like to know where she's getting it.
I imagine it's like a fountain drink.
Well, I'd buy that. If it wasn't crude, again, that's not processed, it's straight out of a deposit in the ground.
It's weird, I know...Though I suppose this is better than the phase where she tried eating bullets to "strengthen her body"
That sounds like an amazing story
Sounds like story time
Tell us, Labrys-senpai.
Excuse me, Boss. Do you accept any of these forms of currency?

Cash

Money

Cash Money

Pencil Shavings

First Born Children

Arms/Legs
I accept First Born Children as long as they're open to manipulation.
Well, she was researching poisons and building up resistances to them. She read about a guy giving himself poisons and venoms, steadily increasing the dosage and strength, until they had little effect on him. She wondered if she could do something similar but with bullets. She thought about shooting herself everyday, steadily increasing the size and muzzle velocity of the bullet, but Fuuka-san talked her out of that. Instead, she decided to start eating bullets and metal bits in an attempt to absorb the material..kind of like internal armor...
What....what do you people do over at that office of yours?
@Miranda_The_Lesbian

Cash
Mostly planning? Stuff like this usually goes down at the lab..There's more space and equipment there.
If you're asking about Terumi, he'll do anything for a laugh. Never ask about the NOL New Years Party. I'll never forget that horrid event. On a side note, how's everyone doing today?
@Boss And I was ready to saw off my leg for some coffee...
I woke up with a horrid headache after staying up til 5am and sleeping til 1pm. This coffee. It really helps so so soooo much.
If you're still game, I'll take that leg
@-Labrys-

Glad you enjoy it, thanks for that big tip earlier. It's gonna help with the next reconstruction effort
@Hazama come on buddy the NOL New Years Party was amazing. You can't say you weren't laughing about Relius having to wear a paper bag over his head because I stole that silly mask of his let alone how Ignis went berserk.
...Terumi runs a strange operation. As so senpai's friends.

@hazama Greetings. I am enjoying my coffee while taking a break from my personal investigation. All in all, quite well. I trust the same for you.
Whatever I can do to help @Boss, since you seem to rebuild every day I've noticed.
@hazama Sure thing.

Right or left?
@-Labrys-

I wouldn't have to rebuild and redecorate everyday if the apocalypse didn't happen every time I wake up in the morning
Either or.

Anyway, I had a wierd day, but I'll discuss it in a seperate thread later. I gotta stop slacking off for a little while.
*chops off left leg*

Here you go.
AAAAHHHHHHHH!?!?!?!?
@Miranda_The_Lesbian

OH GOD! What the hell!?
Well at least this time it isn't my fault.
Jesus Christ! I'm calling an ambulance!
Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God!!! @hazama why!? Oh God!! D-Don't make me drop you..! W-What are you doing..!?
*an ambulance quickly comes and escorts @Miranda_The_Lesbian out*

What the hell...
Jesus christ that was intense
Ah, I'm just gonna...mop up a bit. Free coffee...serve yourselves please...
For a brief moment, Boss forgot who the actual narrator was. Weird.

Also someone should probably clean all that blood up. It's probably against food safety regulations.
That was, uh, interesting
Well, that was something.

My brother said he threw up when he first saw something like that. Guess I got the better stomach.
Doing it right now @Narrator
Ehh I've seen and caused worse in the past still blame @hazama
Alright....mopping done....Jesus....I need some air fresheners
*passes out in booth*
I can go get some if its necessary.
Please do @3xcal1bur
And another one bites za dusto!
Im not sure if I should activate that sometimes
How's the day going?
Fine Mr Kamoshida, how about you?
My day is really calm so far as usual. I wasn't even aware people had been invading LeBlanc and causing havoc. You can't kick them out?
Unfortunately, no. I try but they don't get out...they just stay and annoy the others...
*hops inside*

Hey boss. Forgot to pay for the coffee.

And here's a little extra to cover the cleanup.
I feel like introducing rules and moderation would start a slippery slope lest we were very careful. Maybe very loose moderation would be good. Like the amount 4chan gets moderated. They still have a ton of trash but nobody there complains about spam invasions.
What the hell....how....
*Wakes up and sees Miranda, Promptly passes out again*
https://phansite.net/forum/topic.php?topic=2589

I was referring to this.
I think we're past the point where Bites Za Dusto should of been activated Boss
@Miranda_The_Lesbian

How the hell are you here!? Go back to the hospital!
Nah. I'm good. I can live like this. I was great at hopscotch when I was little.
At least bandage the wound!
I'd like a bit of Curry filled with that Wakaba Isshiki secret sauce ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and by sauce I mean her cum LOLOLOL!!!1111LOLOLROFLXDXDqD!!11LmAo"!!!!1
Oh. Yeah. You got any duct tape?
Here....be careful
*wakes up and slumps over table*

@Boss...Can I please have a glass of water...
@John Titor GET OUT
*somehow manages to tape myself to the ceiling*

Don't worry. I'm good up here.
@-Labrys-

Here we are.
@Miranda_The_Lesbian

How...did you do that...?
@Yuuki_Terumi

:^)
ˢʳʸ
Thanks Boss...

*drinks slowly and rubs temples*
Ah...today's been...interesting to say the least
M-Mhm..too true Boss...too true...
Hello
I don't know... One minute I was patching up my missing leg, and the next thing I know, I'm hanging upside down.

Don't worry about me. It's nice up here.

You have a very nice ceiling.
You could always have a peg leg. Like a pirate.
Maybe the you have to much competition with other coffee Vendors.
Thanks for the leg by the way. Soon, my hellspawn made entirely of voluntarily severed limbs will be completed.
@Miranda_The_Lesbian

I mean, blood will rush to your head. Then the tape will give. So you'll crash down or get down
I'd give you the other one too, but I kinda need it. Sorry.
This is getting really chaotic which is something if I'm saying it
Like I said, don't worry about me.
@hazama See this is why the NOL New Years Party got out of hand because you don't know where to stop the joke!
What the...you guys are still here?
Gotta say, never thought I'd say LeBlanc could smell any worse, but hoo boy does an infected leg stump smell "fresh".
I'm technically a ghost so I don't have anywhere else to go so...
Ugh, it does smell....im breaking out the aerosol
@Yuuki_Terumi
In my defense, I had too much do drink, Noel Vermillion looked very similar to a Digimon with her dress, and Major Kisaragi has very feminine legs.
I'm around. Just soaking it all in.
What the hell...?
Oh. That's not my leg.

That's my good luck steak. I've kept it in my back pocket since I was 4.
I wonder could you make something, a strong espresso?
@hazama
While I was too busy making blind jokes at the expense of Major Tsubaki to keep an eye on you.
I wanna go back to Inaba...All dis stuff is making my head spin...
@NicholasCarlyle

Yeah, here
I have to wonder if that steak truly brings good luck, or leads you into situations such as this one.
@Boss
Appreciate it. Barstool here is a bit rough lost some padding on it?
You know what would lighten the mood in here? A sing along.

You guys all know the words to the Skyrim theme?
Dovaakhin
@NicholasCarlyle

Probably, in the dissaray of what's been happening lately...

Sorry, I don't speak Lizard.
On that note, I'm going to go play SMT IV. It was a pleasure driving your business further into the hole today Boss, good luck with that smell and seeya later, or whatever.
@Miranda_The_Lesbian

If im gonna have you hanging there like a chandelier at least don't disrupt customers
@Boss
Lovely customers or beggars you have.
Okay Boss.

*quietly sings to myself*

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin
@-Labrys- Oh, senpai, do you have anyone to stay with in Inaba?
FUS RO DAH
@NicholasCarlyle

Trust me, they're treats
@AdachiImouto Eh I know some people there. If I couldn't room with them I'd just stay at the Inn...
Aw, you flatter me
@Boss
Well being a regular might be a problem.
@-Labrys-

Nobody stays here anymore. You can have the room upstairs if you want
Thanks for the offer @Boss, but I don't live around here. I'm just saying I need a quiet vacation maybe. So I might visit some pals back in rural Inaba. A nice retreat from all the action here and my job.
I think I'm gonna take a nap.

Boss, if I fall down, just throw me in the dumpster out back.

I'll probably survive.
A shame. I would have liked a visit to Inaba as well. I have been a little reluctant to go alone for various reasons...
Sounds fair. Wish I could have that...
Hey Boss
I went to Inaba once. Fun story
I saw some kids jump into a tv.

And I thought, "Hey! It's just like that old PS1 game, Gex."

So I went outside, grabbed some lizards, and tried shoving then in the tv.

They all just smashed against the screen.

And that's the story of how I got banned from Junes.
@-Iwai-

Hey there, need something?
That place was boring, there's nothing there really. You know what they do for fun? They hang out at a department store. Talk about being sticks in the mud.
@Miranda_The_Lesbian

OOC: im starting to wind if the character you're RPing as is an airhead teen or a kid with zero responsibility when being brought up
@Boss U have ...stange Customers here...
Yeah. If you want fun, visit Liberty City.

Once, I backed my car into a swingset on a playground. I literally flew halfway across the city.
@ boss A coffee and Curry thank you
@-Iwai-

Yeah...you have no clue
@-Iwai-

Here we are, don't kind the mess
@Boss, just a random idiot that does things for the sake of weirding others out.

But I'm bright and cheery when doing even the most stupidly dangerous things
Or, their character could be completely insane. I like that idea. Honestly, I didn't even realize I was roleplaying until a second ago. I tend to just treat all of the in-character things I say as a joke or a reference and things just work out I guess.
@hazama Not at all like Kagutsuchi right?
I want to order
@Yuuki_Terumi
Hopefully not, I quite dislike fighting, after all.
On a side note Terumi, that Labrys girl doesn't look quite right, no? She doesn't look at all like Lady Izanami, so there's no way she's a Murakumo unit. Do you think it could have been Kokonoe and Sector Seven that made her, or am I overthinking this?
@Craven
Oh yeah, what do you need kid?
Coffe and curry
Theres 4 of these @_@
Poor boss
Hello again, Boss. Are you still serving pancakes?
@craven, here we are
@hazama
If she was made by that half-breed there would be giant magnets on her arms don't worry about it.
Thank you boss
@Akechi-kun

Course, I just made a fresh stack for this occasion
No more Leblanc chaos mkay. I just finna eat my curry in peace.
*falls down*
@Miranda_The_Lesbian
Called it
Thank you. I'll have some and a cup of coffee, please.
@NotAJojoReference

Here's a fresh plate, want a coffee with that?
@Akechi-kun
Here we are, some syrup too
Awww... I'm still alive. I hope the zombies still let me fight on their side during the apocalypse....
I would like some hazlenut cream in my coffee please.
Apocalypse? What did i miss?
Fine, fine. I guess not every unnatural-looking teenage girl we run across has to have been made by someone we know.

On that note, I think I got my RP fix in for a while. I'm going to back to my usual shitposting self. I'll leave this thread alone though, because I'd like Boss to keep his sanity. Anyway, toodles.
@NotAJojoReference

Here we are.

Don't worry. We got at least another 7 and a half years before the zombie uprising.

On that note, Boss, give me the craziest thing you got on the menu.
Here's a panchilada @Miranda_The_Lesbian
sell booze
@khamsin

This is a cafe, I'd rather not have anybody tipsy. We have Irish coffee though
Fear the Old Blood
Hey Boss, you got wifi here?
Can i have another coffee... i should bring some Popcorn next time i visit
@Miranda_The_Lesbian

Of course, im Basically contractually obligated
@-Iwai-

Here you are, I don't blame you. I should charge for tickets
i want irish flu shots
Okay. Less freaked out by the emergency earlier now. Whew...@Boss, could I have some curry please?
@-Labrys-

Course, here.
Nice.

*pulls out laptop*

Time to use the Lappy 486!

The Lappy weighs an extremely portable 42 lbs.

It features a 2 mb hard drive, a several color monitor, and a 5 minute battery life.

It's a perfect computer.
Do you have password to the wifi boss?
Can I cum in the coffee boss?
And you thought I was bad...
Homestar Runner doesn't have a dick and I will actually like my coffee black.
@SpikeSpiegel
Here, no ejaculate
Hey Boss i want to pay things get to crazy for me
@-Iwai-

Course, that'll be ¥1500
Spits out coffee I have to pay 15 dollars for this shit and I thought Starbucks was bad.
@SpikeSpiegel

Well if you don't like it then get out
Runs out of the building without paying.
Boss how much should i pay for the money and the curry?
...I feel sry for u Old Man..*puts the money om the table* see ya
*coffe*
Â¥2000
*coffee
Here *pays 2000 yen *
Thank you, come again
Goodbye everyone *leaves cafe*
Hey Boss, is the coffee shop still open? I'm new here and I have hear interesting things about your joint.
Yep, it's open until something theses it down
Tears*
Cool. Can I have mine with cream and 2 packets of sugar?
Sure, lemme get it ready

-a small time passes-

Here we are, sorry it took a bit, had to brew another pot because of so little business
Could I have the usual.
@Sae Niijima
Of course prosecutor, here you go
I'll buy coffee if you play a round with me.