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@Phantom_Trickster Trying to study when a lot of people are drunk here? Not the best idea but I'm not going to stop you.
*is passing out everyone's drink and food orders*

You guys sure like to hit the bottle hard...

*lifts @Kotone Shiomi out of her curry and cleans her off*

Sorry, drinking makes me sleepy

OOC: <schoolwork and a certain problem with a person I used to know arose. I'm not in a great mood right now.
Time to imaginary drink the pain away>
@Boss feelsbadman.
How many have you had @Boss?
not enough
@Firematthew
It's not fair, all these adults are sooo selfish for keeping all the fun stuff to thems selves. I'm tired of all theze people holding me down, like, I practically raisd myself. I gonna overthrow everything one day watch....
It's probably raining. Gotta optimize those knowledge gains!
OOC: we are here for you @Boss. If you need anything, please let us know. We may be limited in action, but know we care about you.
@Boss and im the only one who can console you in person. if you need anything, just say so mate.
All the credit in the world to @JC_Denton for just popping up to mention a bomb while having that profile pic and username.
@AdachiImouto ... *Remains silent, but gestures for a continuation*
@-Labrys-
Senpaiiii, I had a werriird dayy. I'm so sorryyy, I just wanted to have fun with all my best friends at the best cafe in the like, world...
Shitposting was the only thing I was good at, but at least I shitposted for what I believed in.
OOC: Currently reading and eating pistachios. These threads always end up so effing weird.
@bluehairedemo lmao. welcome to another day on the phansite
OOC(thanks guys, I'll say if it's awfully close to sad boss)

I haven't had enough! Another!
OOC: Yeah, like -Labrys- said, we're here. I'm not the best with advice but I can listen.

@Firematthew
I just like wanna live as myselvv and like be happy and crush those in my way, like, the ducks... Fuuuuck ducks...
* looks up intently *

I'm just reading really. I kinda need a calmer day.

@-labrys- can I get the strongest coffee you can make?

*goes back to reading *

tfw boss becomes a patron to his own establishment
Shut the fuck up about ducks how dare you disrespect them.
OOC: This probably doesn't mean much coming from some dumb shitposter; but I hope your okay Boss)
OOC: We are here if you need us Boss.
@-Labrys- I need another! I'm becoming sober!
@AdachiImouto What about these "ducks"? I don't exactly know about them...
@FutabaAlibaba
The ducks want our bodies and our jobs! You shoullda seen what they did to mi school, they exploded it...
@AdachiImouto rip school
@AdachiImouto
Mfw duck terrorism is the biggest problem in our country.
*slides @Firematthew a Piledriver*

Here ya go. And @Phantom_Trickster-kun can I get you anything?
OOC: it's fine, I'm just pissed is all

MORE AND MORE! Leave non standing after tonight!
What a shame.
That's it.
*pulls out staff*
Put the curry in the bag or I will destroy this cafe
@Firematthew
My teacher turned out to be a duck and they like, staged a coup at school... Theyre trying to replace us by lookin just like us... Its all true i swear..
@JC_Denton
Do you have a single fact to back that up?
*sigh* good thing I brought my pistol with me today.

@-labrys yeah. Coffee. Super strong.
@HahaRIP You've got ten seconds to beat it before I add you to the list of thot casualties.
I asked for a curry a while ago and I never got one...
You forced me to do this kid.
Why did you give me this @-Labrys-?
Take your best shot, @HahaRIP.
@AdachiImouto are you sleepy, you look sleepy.
@HahaRIP

Hold on, I called your name a while ago with spicy curry
Oh, sorry about that.
Thanks boss!
(OOC: HahaRiP can you please check the logs before you threaten the cafe with it's destruction?)
.... *The doorboy wakes up* Ugh.. what happened?
Whoops. That was for the gentleman next to you. Sorry.

*slides it over to @Shiza_Salad*

And here is a black hexa shot @Phantom_Trickster.

@HahaRIP
But was anyone gonna stop him from destroying the place? Has anything good come from being here? To any of us?
Actually I ctrl F'd and you didn't call my name out.
we really dont need it to be destroyed again
@Shiza_Salad
A-AGAIN!?
What good's an honest customer if he can decide to behave like a terrorist?
Do I have to play bouncer here?
Hm? Shit... did I drink again?
@bluehairedemo we all did
@JC_Denton

If you're going to cause an issue than do it outside. We don't need any trouble.
@-Labrys- Thanks. Crazy day today? Boss seems to be drinking heavily and all the Thots in the word invaded this universe last night .
Everyone did?
@FutabaAlibaba it has been destroyed and rebuilt without even closing. That is how often it happens.
It was just two big ones @Phantom_Trickster to my knowledge. Then again there were a crap ton of thot demons in them.
Yup...everybody tries to take me down
I didn't. Neither did @Solarflared to my knowledge.
I SURE DID
What is actually served here besides coffee and curry? This place isn't successful if they sell just that, no way.
speaking of which, can i get another round please?
@FutabaAlibaba Pancakes. That too. That brings all the akechis.
We're legit survivors.
*drops a sugar cube into the coffee cup*

My coffee is augmented.
*slides @Shiza_Salad a Gut Punch*

Here ya go sir.
... Where's Aigis?
there's also many, many alcoholic beverages, obviously
@FutabaAlibaba and one of the regulars helps with repairing the place. I think it's @-Labrys-...
*Takes it in one shot* *instantly passes out*
(OOC: seriously though, I should probably go back to my school work. see ya guys later...)
I've been told this thread will help my clients with their rehabilitation.
*Sigh* I need to go guys. Got to have a work interview later. (OOC: Both in character AND out of character. Peace everyone)
@MynameisIgor
Yeah... it won't.
OOC: Later the both of ya
*has a confused look on his face as he looks around the cafe*

Yeah, what's with the booze?
OOC: Later to both of you guys
:^3
Did someone say repairs..?

*puts on hardhat*
@Phantom_Trickster
Isn't it greeaatt?
I don't think we need them right now Labby.
*head thunks on the table shocking her awake*
huh wa?
whats goin on?
Okay good.

*puts away hardhat and keeps cleaning glasses*
@Kotone Shiomi
I think almost everyone is sober... maybe.
DID SOMEONE SAY SOBER?! WAITRESS, GIMME ANOTHER!
ANITHER ROUND ON ME!
I'm okay... Maybe... Sobering up feels bad...
*slams head back on table* *snore*
I'm surprised that everyone is sobering up so quickly.
@RobowaifuAigis (OOC: oh you just wait...)
Is it humanly possible?
You guys shouldn't be sober this *hic* quick!
OOC: Dammit I went to bed right after this went up what did I miss?

Hey everyone.. Why I'm the hell are most of you drunk?
By the way... Did I say anything weird last night?
@bluehairedemo
Nah, you didn't
Ok, good... also... did I say anything at all or did I immediately fall asleep?
@Tatsuya
You just missed the battle against a corrupt goddess is all.
Ahh ok that makes total sense to me. Which one was it this time?
Yoy proposed to my sister @bluehairedemo...
@bluehairedemo
You talked a little bit
Mostly about how you wanted a hug.
Dont worry, I consent.
@-Labrys-
O///O
D-did I really?
OOC: I've been editing the Boss page. I hope it's satisfactory

Ah, welcome back Tatsuya.
Yeah it's good to be back Boss, don't know if you've seen much of me but I was around a lot when the last one closing.
@bluehairedemo

*calmly*

Yes. You proposed and suggested a honeymoon in Okinawa.
Alright, I'm back and with a new set of internal organs.

What did I miss?
what did i miss?
oh hey @hazama
same comment
@hazama

A lot
W... wow... what did you say Aigis?
@Boss
Then I need more! I only got one shot from [redacted]

@Tatsuya
Good day, partner. I'm not drunk I promise!

@bluehairedemo
Lucky. Congratulations.
Can I have one black coffee?
@AdachiImouto

Sure?.....*goes back to reading , despite the drunkenness of the cafe*
Um Sayaka are you sure need more? I hate being the voice of reason but you seem to need one.
One coffee, and a jack in the rocks
@bluehairedemo
She's teasing you, although mabye someday...
*slides coffee orders*

Here ya go folks.
@Tatsuya
You're totally right. I should be drinking all night.
O-Oh... I see...
*climbs back into my box*

Shutting down for a bit @Boss.

*takes the coffee orders i slid out with me*

Sorry. I ordered then for myself.
@AdachiImouto
No what I'm saying is maybe you need to stop. You seem new to this whole liquor thing.
@AdachiImouto
you could get alcohol poisoning. lay off the drinks.
@Tatsuya

Ah let her. If she regrets it she won't do it again
@Tatsuya
Well... I did pass out on Labrys-senpai when Aigis-san had her club open... Yeah. I don't know moderation.
My Leblanc vs your Leblanc.



Mine has a drink machine so mine is automatically better
*yawn* im back
@NotAJojoReference

But mine has quality pancakes
ah my head. hey @Boss, got any advil?
@NotAJojoReference
This one has actual posters making it better.
and what'd i miss?
@3xcal1bur
I didn't drink THAT much...

@Boss
You're a saint, Boss.
*yawns*
Well i have a dog to walk folks
*stumbles out the door*
@Shiza_Salad
Labby messing with me saying I proposed to Aigis
@Shiza_Salad

Yeah, here's a bottle
thanks boss, youre a lifesaver
I need coffee. Black please.
@bluehairedemo

Here you go.
Thanks Boss...
Can I get a mocha this time? Something a little stronger than usual...
OOC: RP in a imaginary cafe....while in a actual cafe lol

*puts book down and looks at everyone*

So..uh...hows everyone feeling ?
Better... I guess...
Hi here's a shitstorm of HAHARIP business cards for whoever wants them
I'm just studying and looking up rumors in the paper... If I keep busy I don't have time to feel weird things.
Any interesting rumors in there? Also let me know they come true that's a bad sign.
Nothing too unusual. Just about the duck uprising at school... I hope they don't come here, this cafe gets enough mayhem.
Ducks rose up at your school? Was anyone talking about this before it happened?
Wait, duck uprising?
OOC: I'm actually sick irl. I am kinda glad it's a little bit calmer today....minus the booze moment


*yawns* hey -labrys- can I have a refill?
I've kept busy recently, myself. Turnd out trying to engulf the world in endless pain and misery is a shitload of work.
Yeah that sounds tough Hazama.
Have you tried using a vaccum cleaner? @hazama
It really is, glad someone gets it
Well... There was a rumor going around that my homeroom teacher was a duck. Next thing you know, ducks set fire to the tennis court. Parents were gonna send me to Iwatodai for the rest of the year...
W... what?! HOW?!
Quack
@hazama
World domination definitely isn't easy. Better luck next time.
and no don't quack please
what the hell is the duck joke? I don't get it
Ducks are cute and cool!
Quack
OOC: It's impressice how many replies we can get on the Shitpost threads of a niche game forum tbh.
You have a point
OOC: It's fun.
ooc: yup fun as heck
OOC: it keeps this thread alive during the slow moments. Quick , someone make a duck account.
Press 1 for ducks
OOC:I'm thinking about making a Joker account.
OOC: It has to be Duck Kawakami, to honor the memory of Miranda The Lesbian who entrusted this meme to me

stop quacking you will bring them here
@AdachiImouto

I did bring my gun for a reason lol
I'm armed with the might of human thought and my soul.
I thought for sure Bluey would cause an explosion. Thank god I was wrong.
*tosses walkie talkie onto table and flops into seat*
*sips coffee steadily in my box*

I sense a shift in the world balance...
Meow
Hey Mona why are you meowing?
@hazama
Yeah... Thank goodness...

@-Labrys-
A world shift? Is another apocalypse coming?

@Mona
*pets* What a cute little kitty!
I am not a cat!
You always say that man. But you look like a cat act like a cat and to anyone who's normal sound like a cat.
@Tatsuya T-that's pure coincidence!
Then, if you're not a cat, what are you?

A shadow? A demon?
I'm a human!
Hmm what about a robot? We could try and transfer your soul into a robot body perhaps.
*Grabs @Mona *
Do not touch the cat!
*Senses a murderous intent*
My apologies... He looked like a cat, and cats are my favorite, so...
It's official everyone!
Wow, congratulations! I'm sure it must be a wonderful feeling.
It truly is.
It does feel pretty great.
Coffee please? You can surprise me on this one.
*looks at bluehairedemo and RobowaifuAigis*

*raises coffee cup*

3 cheers for the happy couple!
Cheers. *Downs the whole cup*
Congrats
They're a couple!? I knew it!
dawwwwww
They're hitching it!? Finally!
Were you all anticipating it?
FREE FOR EVERYBODY, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE HAPPY COUPLE!
@bluehairedemo
I'm pretty sure they were...
@Boss
Free drinks? Can I have one?
@FutabaAlibaba

Yep, here
HIP HIP HOORAY

I don't even know what is going on, but I like the mood
Free for everybody? I'll take 10 fatty tuna and 5 delicious pancakes, then
@Mona

Jeez, I don't know why that cat meows so much
Dangit, I forgot he can't hear me!
I was surprised it happened so fast, but I expected it eventually.

I'm changing it up, Boss. Give me the strongest coffee you got.
Maybe the cat has some world changing secrets ???
@AdachiImouto

Here you go, Full black
Let's order sushi!!
@Souji Seta

Yeah, that's a good idea! Anybody willing to go pick it up?
Oh, and I think the little one would like some fatty tuna and pancakes. *Winks at @Mona*
@Boss

I don't mind picking up the Sushi.
Thank you, Boss. *Drinks it fast despite winching from the strength*

Sushi would be nice.

I nominate @mishimans
@Boss we should take you into the Metaverse see if that let's you hear the cat speak.
@AdachiImouto

Thanks for the nice nomination

Picking up sushi beats being bored anyday
Sushi sounds nice.
@Mishimans

Alright, here's enough for the order, go on
If memory serves, we're in the metaverse in some shape or form. I dunno man.
@Boss

I'll be back in five minutes

*Runs out the door*
@hazama that would mean Boss is... lying?
*waves at Boss*

Can I get a refill of house blend ?
Boss has no reason to lie, though.
*Gently kicks door open*

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME....

*puts bags full of sushi on the counter*

That was quick.
This place IS pretty eldritch... Maybe because we're Persona users? and Captain Hazama has that special weapon. Boss is a normal human, and his cognition sees Mona as just a cat.
@bluehairedemo

I learned how to run fast form Sonic 06
@Mishimans
Did you fall out of the map?
@AdachiImouto Then we can take him into the TV if he wants.
I guess I'd say that I have been hiding something......let's discuss over sushi
Gasp! So what kinda sushi does everyone like cause I'll get it.
Ohhhh....
Hiding something?
Very well. I call dibs on the salmon roe.
Did we get any tamago?
Well, I noticed​ everybody talking about masks and I had a weird encounter as I left a little while ago....
And....well....it's hard to explain....
(through a mouthful of sushi) It's okay Boss, take your time
Go on...
I.... encountered old....lovers. people I had broken the hearts of long ago.
The guilt weighed heavily as they talked about how awful I was. How much of a womanizer I was back then
Emphasis on "back then"
*Hops onto his motorcycle and drives to a sushi place... Comes back 40 minutes with all the sushi ever* Had no clue what to get so I got it all.. now then let's eat and talk crazy!
They kept going on and on.....then I heard a voice start talking. A real smooth voice.
Lemme guess... Your shadow right?
Huh, that's a new one.
"just gonna stand there Boss? The people love you, such charismatic charm....
Why not use it for your purposes, help yourself again? How about we make a deal? Have my power, and you'll lead like you should"
No not your shadow... Hmm I'll reserve judgement.
Smells like butterfly.
I just took off my hat to think.....it kinda hurt for a sec. And that's how this came to be
*Boss removes his hat, a sleek leather jacket wearing 60s greaser type shadow emerges from behind boss*
Oh my god...
I Art Thou

Thou Art I

OOC: Just walked back into the forum after dealing with some stuff
Casenova.....that's his name
Holy crap you have a shadow in your hat! Alright everyone get ready. *Tatsuya drops into a fighting stance*
A Persona!
... unless is that a Persona?
Calm down. I'm sure it's just a Persona.
He just appeared when I guess I....accepted that voices deal? Those women became weird monsters and this guy....killed them I guess?
Sorry I've seen a lot of fights lately.
Yep, Persona.
Nice first summoner kills
That's a certainly odd case.....wait we can summon Personas in here?
@Tatsuya

Who did you piss off?
Ooh, what skills does it know?
Apparently.
Whooooooa! Lookin' cool, Boss!
I didn't do anything....this just happened.....im really confused....
*Puts hat on, Casenova disappears*
Wow... So Boss was a Persona user all along...

It explains why you have such a tie to this place. That's an incredible story... It feels wonderful to face yourself. Though it isn't always easy.

It seems we all have gone through a lot. I have a new level of respect for you, Boss. *smiles*
@Mishimans
A series of evil god's... Also a frog.
Persona? Those things the kids used?
@Boss

Your persona sounds really cool

@Tatsuya

Didn't you learn from Hazama that its a bad idea to piss off the frog
As for what happened boss I believe that this place is a part of the Shadow world. It made your repressed emotions come alive, they were trying to make you reject them by acting like that than kill you afterwards. By coming to terms with it though you gained control of them.
A persona is a manifestation of your personality when you face hardships
@Tatsuya

I....guess I understand a bit more.....
It's not exactly easy to grasp at first, if you want to know more lemme know but I don't like droning on to long without asking.
So, what should Boss's codename be? How about... Coffee!
Yes, Persona. It is a manifestation of your reflected self. I have come to learn that they manifest many different ways. Mine was... An unusual case.
What's new @Tatsuya?

*giant meteor crushes the titan*
Well that was fast
*Looks at the giant space rock*

where did that come from? Doesn't matter, he well be fine.
Well that sucks
@Mona
Well, his Persona is like a gang member, right? How about... Vinny?
...And once again a natural disaster strikes
*passes by* *notices giant meteor crush a Titan*

What is this, the start of a running gag?
@Mona

I think Leblanc would be a better code name for Boss. It sounds extra classy.
Boss' Codename couldn't be Capone, eh?
Does he even need one? I mean it's not required for Persona users.
What about boss as a code name
@Tatsuya

While code names are not a requirement for persona users at this point every persona user gets known as something.

I still remember when Joker was our dear little Chair-Kun
He's just very unlucky @Migrant...gotten eaten by a giant alien ogre, gotten run over by a enemy tank, and got hit in the face by a rocket.
I actually like that Minato but it's also associated with his real identity.
Sounds like a running gag to me. Then again, I hear Yongen is something of a gag itself these days.
Come on! Capone! It's the obvious one! And it sounds cool!
Oh, Capone! I have read about him. It fits. I like it.
@FutabaAlibaba that is a nice idea for a name for Boss
Alright, so....Capone?
Capone sound like an equally stylish name
@Boss
Yeah! Doesn't it sound cool!?
@FutabaAlibaba

Yeah, I like it. Classy.
POOTIS bird is superman

*crashes into the front door*

AAAAAAAaaaAAAAAHHHHhhHHH!!!! IT BURNS!!! Surprises are STUPID!!! *Walks uncoordinated due to the hangover*