PH.R.I.E.N.D.S - Phansite Archive

You'll find here all archived threads from the Phansite forum.

Kazuya

PH.R.I.E.N.D.S

(This is basically a Sitcom parody thing, you know the drill, funny things, parody characters...all that jazz, anyway, have fun!)

*As Kazuya enters the room, a big round of applause greets him. He then looks at the monitor of the one reading this and smiles. With a quick nod, he lets out a loud sigh of relief as he leaves his scarf by his side, taking a sit on his long couch.*

Ah...what a day it was, I hate my job...!

*The crowd laughs at this.*

Tatsuya

*He walks into and leans on a wall*
Hate your job? *His face morphs to a deadly smirk*
Hah I freaking love my job!

There's nothing better than a productive day of hunting things an saving people!

*For some unknown reason a laugh track plays*

Yu-Narukami

*A knock is heard on Kazuya's door as a muffled sound of music can be heard from the other side.*

Migrant

*Sticks head out of a side room!*

Don't open that!

Kazuya

Oh shut up Tatsuya, I'll have you know it's pretty tough to be the most important person in your world.

*Kazuya stands up and walks towards the door.*

At least I get a lot of opportunities for dates!

*The track of a crowd going wild resonates across the room, after this the young man opens the door, and after this, he turns to Mig.*

Why? What could possibly go wrong?

Starwaddle

*suddenly appears, and the crowd oohs* howdy, neighbor! Mind if I borrow a cup of sugar?

Aitome_Korichi

*Aitome then walks up from the back stage, the crowd does not applause, he then walks up to Green Coat

Say! Whats the deal with employment? You just turn up to work a-woah!

*Aitome then trips on the very perilously placed chair, that any normal person should notice, before getting a laugh track

Yu-Narukami

*On the other side of the door Yu is dancing to the sound of reach out to the truth.*

Hey, Kaz. Been a while...Care to...dance?

*A loud applause track plays.*

Tatsuya

*He sighs and shakes his head*
I swear you people make me look normal. And yeah I'm sure all those dates are working out great. *He grins like a fox* How's the uh harem thing going pal?

Kazuya

Dance? Why would I dance? What do I look like to you?

*Kazuya turns to your monitor.*

A silly spin off?

AdachiImouto

*Exists her dark room*

I require more Mountain Dew and Doritoes for my WONDERFUL online escapades!!!!!

Kazuya

The harem thing? Well Tatsuya, it's been going pretty great actually!

*He crosses both arms and nods with satisfaction.*

I feel like some kind of arabian king, after my whole "saved the world" I kind of blew up, you know what I mean?

*Laugh track for both his joke and Sayaka's entrance!*

Yo! What did I tell you about the internet!

Mishimans

*He walks down the stairs yawning*

Hey can you guys keep it do-

*He trips on a step and lands on his face at the bottom*

Ugh ...

*A laugh track plays*

I'm tired and just got back from vacation.

Tatsuya

*He rubs his head in confusion at Kaz*
Spin off? What are you talking about Kazuya this is our life.

*He grins at Sayaka*
Hell yes food and drink that are terrible for us and video games I love those things!

Yu-Narukami

*Yu dances into the house.*

Just got to go with the rhythm Kaz! Nothing else to it!

*A laugh track plays as Yu does the splits.*

Aitome_Korichi

Hey Wolfy! Whats wrong? Are you feeling like a "shadow" of your usual self?

*cue the laugh track! But nobody laughed

Tatsuya

... *He mutters under his breath about stabbing*

AdachiImouto

I love the internet! It allows me to do everything I could in the real world, without exercising at all! Even socializing! High school is now OBSOLETE!

*Laugh track*

BonafideMonafide04

*shows up from a back door*
Guys I can't find my keys.
*laugh track*

Kazuya

Damn it guys, why am I even friends with you?

*Kazuya sits down with an overwhelmed expression as a bass line can be heard by everyone.*

(We'll be back after his messages, so knock yourself out or go get amrita soda or something.)

Mishimans

*He right himself and quickly brushes off imaginary dirt*

*He then looks at Aitome with a smug grin*

Nope in fact the whole identity finding deal has gotten old.

This time around I have decided to try out the new fad of reading self help books.

*He presents a getting your life together book for idiots

Tatsuya

*He chuckles darkly*
Only good things I ever got in highschool were... *He struggles to come up with something to say* Well certainly I learned that I really hate people who try to befriend me for superficial reasons.

Aincrad_Hazel

Aincrad and Shadow pop their heads out of a hole in the floor covered by a rug and speak in complete unison.

"We like your hair, is that superficial?"

Laugh Track is cued but awkward silence ensues.

Tatsuya

.... *He stares at them stunned* First off yes, second who even are you? I'm almost certain we've never met right? Does anyone know these two?

BonafideMonafide04

Well I know one of them, but that's about it. But I can't find my keys. Did someone take them?

Aitome_Korichi

*Aitome then walks over to Wolfy, stepping on Mr.Carnivals head, getting a laugh before looking at books

Ehh, thats all garbage! Here!

*Aitome then grabs all the books and throws them into the hole, hitting Mr.Carnival on the head

What you really need is this!

*Aitome makes an exaggerated pose before pulling out a book titled " How to summon 2 personas and 13 demons By Tatsuya"

AdachiImouto

Fear not Brother Tatsuya, let us acquire Mountain Dew and Doritoes and fade away on the internet!

*Noticing Aincrad and Shadow*

Moles! I knew you'd come! It is time to DELETE you! *pulls a mallot from behind the coach as a laugh track plays*

Mishimans

I don't Ta-chan.

*He smriks*

But it's like they say.

Everything is different after a long trip.

*He shrugs*

So I have a good excuse.

Aincrad_Hazel

They both pout.

"Aww but Tatsy, we were so close together! I thought we were friends!"

They give him puppy dog eyes as a laugh track is clearly forcefully played over top.

Bonafied-Monafied

*Opens the front door*
Honey I'm home!
*winks at an unseen audience as clap track plays*

Mishimans

*He looks at the book In Aitome's hands with awe*

I see so a cultist phase is in order.

Hang on I need to get something!

*He runs back up the stairs*

Tatsuya

*He stares in stunned silence at everyone but Sayaka*
Ya know Sayaka I can't believe I'm saying this but I think we may be the least crazy people here right now... It's like everyone else has gone more mad while you and I are just what passes for normal with us.

*He starts walking to the front door*
Yes soda and chips let us depart!

Aincrad_Hazel

"Ow ow ow ow!"

Shadow laughs and turns to Adachi.

"Oh no! Not beat-a-Shadow! Move it!"

They both retreat and pop to different sides of the room and speak in unison again.

"Try to get us now!"

hazama

This? This right here? This is the best thread. Nothing can ever top this. Mishima may as well delete the Phansite, because we have peaked.

BonafideMonafide04

*starts playing sonic adventure 2, laugh track*

Kazuya

Hey, I take offense to that Tatsuya! I'll show you how normal I am!

*He stands up and smiles with confidence as he walks towards him.*

This is going to be fun, I promise

AdachiImouto

Let us be on our way to refresh our supply stock!

I will DELETE you yet, floor moles!!!

*leaves with Tatsuya*

Aitome_Korichi

I know em Red Coat! We got the Clown and the Idiot!

*cue laugh track at the horrible naming,

The idiots cool though! How are you doing Onii chan!

*Aitome then runs up to hug Onii chan but trips and hits his head on the couch, getting a cheap laugh from the audience

Tatsuya

What are you babbling about Hazama? And wait where have you been man!?

Tatsuya

*Is somehow in two places at once... That's normal around here*

Aincrad_Hazel

They both pop out from holes on the ceiling.

"Never shall you beat these moles! Mwhahahahahaha!"

An evil laugh track has just been made.

Aincrad_Hazel

"I'm doing well sis!"

Shadow descends from the hole attached to wires and pats Aitomes head.

"Very well indeed."

Aitome_Korichi

*Aitome then gets up before responding to Snake Boy

Hey! There are 4 walls here not 3! You can't just go swinging a sledge hammer on the fourth one!

Yu-Narukami

*Yu jumps into the TV while dancing to a tasty groove.*

Gonna go defeat some shadows with my sick moves! King Crazy is coming for you shadows!

*A laugh track begins playing as YU dives into the TV.*

Teddie-Anon

Bazinga!
*extremely loud laugh track*

Mishimans

*He runs back down the stairs now dressed in a black robe*

*In his left hand is a lamb plush toy and in his right is a red piece of chalk*

Guys I am now ready to become a cultist.

*He solemnly accepts the book*

I will defenitly find my new identity through the summoning of demons.

What could possibly go wrong this time!

Aincrad_Hazel

Shadow gets pulled back up from the wires.

"I have no idea what you're talking about my dear sister."

Aincrad disappears and pops up underneath Aitome.

"Hiya sis! Nice view here!"

Migrant

Did Yu just jump into two TVs at once....

Nice. *finger guns*

BonafideMonafide04

BARZOOPLE
*even louder laugh track*

Bonafied-Monafied

Wait a minute this isn't my house!
*Does the infamous home alone face slapping his hands on the sides of his face*
Oooooh no!
*Laugh track plays*

Tatsuya

*He stares at Mish*
Why are using such outdated Demon Summoning equipment? Kazuya can surely hook you up with something better... *He snaps his fingers* I need to be a Devil Summoner!

AdachiImouto

*Returns with Mountain Dew and Doritoes with one of the Tatsuya's*

A mission successful!!! It is time to be UNPRODUCTIVE!

*Laugh track*

Aitome_Korichi

NYAH! IDIOT!

*Aitome then tries to punch Onii chan before falling from the punch, landing on Mr.Carnivial,

Migrant

*Says nothing, just tackles Tatsu for even suggesting that. Much laugh track.*

Teddie-Anon

Zimbabwe!
*even louder than the last laugh track*

AdachiImouto

I for one find demonic rituals WONDERFUL!

You even brought the sacrifice! *Laugh track as she points at Bonafied-Monafied*

Tatsuya

Sayaka screw that let's all be Devil Summoners now! *His eyes light up with stars* How did I not see!? It's a vast increase to our effective combat forces without actually needing to make the group any larger!

*He leaps into the air with his fits held up*
We're gonna be the strongest in the mutliverse hahahaha!

Migrant

.... I'm entirely okay with sacrificing Bona. Just cash out my demon summoning, I could use it to cover this month's rent.

Aincrad_Hazel

Shadow chuckles and Aincrad gets sent down into the hole.

"GYAHHHHHHHHH!"

Shadow descends once more and the shadows mysteriously disappear as he lies besides Aitome.

"Here I was worried you were gonna send me to the sun, when instead you sent Aincrad to the Earths Center."

Aincrads voice comes from the hole.

"Guys... I'm stuck down here."

Laugh track plays.

George_Jackman

*suddenky the scene flickers out and brings into focus a tall man holding a stick of deodorant*

Do You want to smell like Freedom and Justice? Then try out Old Spice's new American Spirit deodorant. For the Justice-lover in you.

*the commercial fades away returning you to your scheduled broadcast*

BonafideMonafide04

ZURNICRUNCH
*litterally the loudest laugh track ever*

Kazuya

No! Demon summoning is my thing! In fact...

*He pulls out some papers, copyright and all that.*

The entire thing belongs to ME now, like every single girl in this wor-I mean...

*Laugh track*

...
Trains, I meant trains.

BonafideMonafide04

Well excuuuuuuuuse me, princess. *laugh track*

Teddie-Anon

Demon summoning? At least it isn't life, am i right teenagers?
*laugh track*

AdachiImouto

LET THE RITUAL OF THE BROKEN MOON BEGIN

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Also we're eating the bear for dinner

Bonafied-Monafied

Ha good thing I'm not them! Oh wait....
*Fail music plays while laugh track ensues*

Teddie-Anon

But this is my favorite suit!
*cricket noises*

Aitome_Korichi

Oh no! 2 Red Coats! What will we ever do now! I'm gonna get a paper cut!

*Aitome gasps and the crowd laughs at how edgy Red Coat is, Aitome then hugs Onii Chan, getting an aww from the audience

It's alright! Your already my sun!

Tatsuya

*He glares at Kazuya*
Oh yeah? Well tell that to Raidou and the rest of his clan who I'm sure would wipe the floor with you for it... *He looks absolutely ready to kill* IF I DON'T KILL YOU FOR IMPLYING MAYA BELONGS TO YOU FIRST!

.... *He calms down a bit*
Of course you aren't really saying that right old pal?

Mishimans

*He looks at the lamb plush toy in his hand*

*Then up at Tatsuya's insanity*

Nah I think I'm good with the old method ...

*He slowly backs away*

I'll start drawing up my pentagram.

Aincrad_Hazel

Shadow chuckles and hugs Aitome back and kisses her forehead illiciting another aww from the audience.

"And you're my earth sis."

Silence for a few seconds then Aincrad shouts up.

"That was lame Heppy!"

Kazuya

Imply? Man, if I say "Fish live in the water and you breath air", is it implying? No, it's just how nature works man.

*Grin.*

Deal with reality Ta-chan.
Besides, The Kuzunoha are chill so they had a special permission.

AdachiImouto

Too bad! Into the pot!

Sadly you cannot be both eaten and deleted, so choose the fate!

Teddie-Anon

This is an unBEARable decision!
*L A U G H*

Aitome_Korichi

*Aitome gets really red and grabs a chair, dropping it in the hole and punching Onii chan, getting a small laugh from the change in pace, Aitome then turns away crossing his arms

I-i-idoit! More like Perv Chan to me!

Mishimans

*He starts drawing a red pentagram in the corner of the room *

*Upon finishing he realizes something*

Hey does anyone have a knife?

Migrant

I say delete it. It'd probably give us an upset stomach.

Bonafied-Monafied

Bears are tasty, have you ever tried frog legs? If you eat me you'll be hopping mad with your choice!
*The laugh track goes on*

Tatsuya

..... Okay then, I'm really sorry at had to come to this Kazuya but you have to die now. THIS IS FOR THE MAYAS!

*He draws an Evoker summoning forth every Persona he's every had ever at once* NUKEMAGEDDON!

*The Personas let loose a blast of Almighty and Nuclear magic all across the planet wiping out the pointless space rock*

*A technical difficulties screen flashes for a moment before everything is set back to as it was before... With the exception of Tatsuya not having heard such blasphemy*

Whelp guess we're not summoning demons oh well.

Akamoto_Shinji

*Busts down the door in Darth Vader attire*
FOOLS! I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND! YOU DOING NOT KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE!

Aincrad_Hazel

"Ow!"

Both yell at the same time. Shadow clutches his nose and Aincrad is still stuck and out of frame. Both speak in unison.

"And she's retreated to Tsundere mode."

Aincrads head pops out beside Shadow and Shadow gets drawn back into the ground. They turn to each other and snicker before burrowing to another part of the room.

BonafideMonafide04

Do some drugs, then you'll be on even higher ground
*L A U G H*

Kazuya

Kazuya Yasuo is blasting off again...!!!!!!!

*Kazuya for some reason flies off into the distance by the shock. A loud laughing track can be heard. After this, a loud knock is heard on the door.*

Akamoto_Shinji

*Kicks the door down*
Don't knock Knock at me!

Aitome_Korichi

Idiots!

*Aitome then hears the doorb and quickly changes back to normal

I wonder who it could be! I wonder if they like knocking!

*Aitome simply lets the knocks continue, passing Wolfy her shortsword

Yep! Sorry for the last response! Im pretty shortsighted!

*cue laugh track for the millionth time!

AdachiImouto

It's settled! Bonafied-Monafied will be eaten instead!

...And Teddie will be the sacrifice instead! *Laugh track*

Migrant

I'm totally fine with this!

Aincrad_Hazel

They tunnel to Adachi and pop out in front of her.

"Why not sacrifice the lamb the robe man had before?"

Disappearing again, they appear to be popping out of Tatsuyas back as they pet his hair.

"Come on Tatsy, play with us!"

Bonafied-Monafied

I guess today isn't my day!
*Looks at the non existent audience with a snarky face as the laugh track goes on*

Teddie-Anon

Can you sacrifice the suit instead? It's not my best one.

Mishimans

Thanks.

*He slices the lamb plushe's neck with the sword*

*Cotton spills out into the circle as it begins to glow*

Oh great emptiness heed my call ...

*He continues to chant in high school spanish*

Ira

WHO ELSE COULD BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR OTHER THAN A DEAD MAN WALKING AROUND BECAUSE REASONS AND CAMEOS AND SHIT, HELLO NERDS.

*Ira plays the air guitar as he storms into the room. The "boo" track is oof the charts!*

What? I do it for the money.

Teddie-Anon

I do lots of things for money, isn't that right, mature audience members?
*laugh traaackkkkk*

BonafideMonafide04

WOOP WOOP

Ira

I like this bear thing, it's beary funny lemme tell ya.

*Plays the air guitar, and this time it actually makes a noise.*

Radical!!

Akamoto_Shinji

Kinda Ira-tating if you ask me....
*boo*

Aitome_Korichi

More like Radidont!

*Aitome finger guns Mean Green Coat and a laugh track is played, somehow with less laugh and more despair at the bad pun

Akamoto_Shinji

I'm sorry, I should be Pun-ished for that.

AdachiImouto

The 7 dieties require a soul not close!!! They have plenty of clothes? Probably.

Teddie-Anon

The audience can't BEAR our jokes!
*an audio file that's played to emulate a crowd laughing*

Aitome_Korichi

That pun was tear-able!

Tatsuya

*He just walks out of the room* I'ma go kill something now K? Lemme know when Ira is gone.

Teddie-Anon

All of my suuts have my soul in them!

Teddie-Anon

suits*

Mishimans

*He stops his chanting and glares at everyone*

Can you all be quiet I'm trying to summon satan here!

*He sighs*

The nerve of some people.

*The resumes the chanting*

Aincrad_Hazel

Aincrad and Shadow disappear and pop out of the ground in the middle of Mishimans summoning circle.

"You called?"

Laugh track plays.

Ira

*Plays the air guitar with his right hand and point at everyone with his left.*

Shut up! I'll kill you with my BEAR hands!

*Crowd laughs for some reason, the audio file keeps playing and the laugh harder. Then you can hear monkeys doing something weird. Then a plane going under a bridge. Then a baby crying. Ira stands there awkwardly for a sec.*

Why are we still here?

Aitome_Korichi

You outta chill out Wolfy! For a dead man you sure are pretty lively!

*and nobody laughed at that poor attempt at a joke

BonafideMonafide04

Just to suffer.

Teddie-Anon

Gotta get money somehow.

Akamoto_Shinji

Why is anyone still here?
*takes off the vader suit to reveal..... He's wearing a dress.... Surprisingly well*

Teddie-Anon

*Intensive finger guns.*

BonafideMonafide04

Why are you in a dress?

Mishimans

*He jumps in surprise and crashes on the floor*

So your satan?

Akamoto_Shinji

Why Not? I'm gender fluid.

Aincrad_Hazel

"Well what else do you call two disembodied torsos seemingly appearing in and out of everywhere with little to no restraint?"

They both look at him with quizzing eyes.

Aitome_Korichi

Oh Brother!

*cue seinfield music, getting bass boosted 1 second in

Mishimans

You know what I'm done.

*He stands up and makes for the door*

I'm going on another long trip.

See you never people.

*He leaves as the laugh track plays*

Aitome_Korichi

See you in the "After" life wolfy!

*Aitome shoots finger guns as the laughs get louder, letting a tear leave his eyes as he'll never see him ever again

Teddie-Anon

Well, that sure was BEARy great!
*s e i n f e l d*

Persona

*The door opens up.*

Did somebody order a pizza?

*A laugh track plays while text appears on the screen saying "Only Nyarly would"*

Teddie-Anon

Waaaaaaaazzzzzzuuuuuuuuup?
*HAHAHAHA*